Monday, June 27, 2005

i just want to say...

For those of you who are hard at work, creating your greatest masterpiece ever in honor of my upcoming 31st birthday, please, please, whatever you do, please hold back on creating this masterpiece.

Really. You're too kind but there's honestly no need to go to so much effort for little ol' me.

Does anyone else receive the piece of total fucking crap that is the Herrschner's catalog? I'm not saying they don't have nice yarn, for good prices. I am merely asking if I am the only one subjected to the horrors of items such as this sequined patriotic bear banner.

It's sequined! But it's a kit! You sew the sequins on yourself!

What's good about it? I can use it to discover that Bernat has gone completely Wonder Bread white, and created a yarn called Bling Bling. I'm not knocking the yarn itself, mind you; if I ran across it in a Michael's and I liked it I would buy it, yarn slut that I am. But actually naming the yarn "Bling Bling" removes the street cred of the term itself, and converts it into the same soulless wonder as my little old lady white gospel barbershop chorus does to every Duke Ellington or "Tuxedo Junction" type of song out there.

My favorite slogan in this Herrschner's catalog?

"Shinin' and Stylin' - Disco is Back, Jack!"

9 Comments:

Blogger Jane said...

I get that horror, too, but it goes directly into the trash. My old eyes couldn't stand the shock of so much crap in one place. And happy upcoming birthday!

10:20 AM  
Blogger hockey mom said...

AAAHHHHHH! Don't do that again!

Yes, I get that damned thing, but I don't even open it anymore. Can't take the cross-stitched calendars, the sequined toilet paper covers, the beady-buddy christmas ornaments.

The 18th huh? Methinks the Atlanta knitters must unite and get your ass to a margarita somewheres. Yes, Trixie should come too!

11:04 AM  
Blogger Janice in GA said...

Hey, I kinda like the tractor afghan, in a kitschy sort of way.
And I add my vote to a knitter's margarita party for Rebecca for her birthday!

11:22 AM  
Blogger Sedie said...

I get it too, but I do discard discreetly so as not to be seen. . . after all, I do have a reputation to maintain.

I often wonder who buys the stuff?

11:39 AM  
Blogger Trixie said...

Well we all know that Trixie ain't buyin' that stuff !

1. I don't knit.
2. I don't do banners.
3. I am broke due to the sewer issue.

Please God send me alcohol NOW. I just can't wait for the 18th. [although I will of course because I am NOT a lush..I am NOT a lush...I am NOT a lush...]

12:45 PM  
Blogger Zardra said...

So, you're not a John Deere fan? I'll keep that in mind. :)

That awful waste of paper occasionally shows up and promptly goes into the recycling bin right next to the mailboxs.

5:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Welcome to another installment of Tapes Itgirl Made! We now jump from 1989 all the way to 1991, the summer I not only discovered Nine Inch Nails and Jane's Addiction, but a previously unknown love of those 5 lovable losers, the New Kids on the Block. Itgirl provides a tape just in time to be 2 weeks AFTER the concert, but aparently a year ahead of everyone else in knowing that there would be another Gansta rap act at Lollapalooza II, thus paving my way to actually seeing that one, instead of skipping it like I did the rap act at Lolla I. I present to you:

"Raps, New Kids, New Kids Raps"

with the additional information that "* indicates a #1 song".

Although in 2005 I am actually not sure whether songs like "This One's For the Children" and "Funny Feeling" are New Kids or rap derived, I am positive that "The Fuck Shop", "Parrot Shop" (which were somehow NOT put next to each other, although spaced apart enough that the addition of a third or 4th 'shop' song would have added a thematic level of depth to this tape), "Banned in the USA" and "Turtle Power" are of the later. I am also left to become upset, 14 years later, that "Games" was not a #1 song when it is obviously and deservedly a much better song than "You Got It (The Right Stuff)" and to wonder why the stellar remake of "Didn't I Blow Your Mind" was eschewed for "Cover Girl". What the fuck, princess? You really screwed that one up. I had to dub the whole goddamn first album to get that song for my very own. The other thing that bothers me is that because of the addition of "Funky, Funky Xmas" (which may have been XMas or the actual word Christmas and a lazy-as-shit tape maker), I will not be able to hear 'Mentirosa' until October 13th, at which point it is appropriate tp play Christmas songs all day and night long.

Itgirl, I Wanna Be Loved By You. Stay With Me, Baby.

8:37 PM  
Blogger Micky said...

Well I get it. I have always liked cross-stitch and that's what started me on it. I also am poor and usually if I do have fundage, can afford some of their stuff. I get cheap needles from there to do my knitting with. But I will agree alot is awful. And if they think that is bling-bling, they are deranged.

12:18 PM  
Blogger dragon knitter said...

there is a country song (i don't listen, my sons do, shudder) called "she thinks my tractor's sexy." i suppose this would go for that crowd. and as for herschnerr's themsleves, i rarely read the catalog, but i do go online on occasion. i bought a ton of sockyarn on deep discounts from them, and occasionally find a jewel in their auctions. i'm getting the felting book as we speak. happy birthday, and oorah to multicolored hair (i gave up dyeing mine 2 years ago, and since it's hiplength, i'm still growing hte red out, and i have a ton of grey from raising 4 kids and 2 husbands (soon to be 3, lol!)

12:01 AM  

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