Monday, January 29, 2007

i feel stupid and contagious here we are now entertain us

I guess I should put a warning here because people always say to do so but I don't like to so consider that your warning.

Am I the only person who has the problem where you'll be sitting there, amongst friends or co-workers or in a meeting and you smell something and you realize, hey, that's my snatch I'm smelling? Does everyone else smell that? (I hope the fuck not.) If they do smell it, do they know it's snatch? (I hope the fuck not.) Perhaps my snatch smells different, maybe if they smell it, they don't realize it's snatch? (I hope the fuck so.) Perhaps they don't know what it is? (I hope the fuck so.) Perhaps they don't smell it at all? (I really hope the fuck so.)

Or am I the only person who experiences this occasionally?

Sunday, January 28, 2007

why wait until the middle of a cold dark night

So I'm making these striped armwarmers in green and purple Nashua Julia because they are the perfect colors together
and after a few stripes I decreased 2 stitches and thought, hey, I'll be all clever, and sl 1, k2tog, passo, and I don't need to twist when I change colors because that's only the CSI: Cocksucking Intarsia, and lo and behold, I got this bucket of boiled goat's ass
so I frogged it and I went to The Google and searched on jogless knitting round and found out how to do it plus that I did have to twist the cocksucking yarn and hey! Maybe I should spread out my decreases! And now it doesn't look like ass. As much.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

don't want to hear about it every single one's got a story to tell

Yeah. I can't even tell you. It's been...I don't know what. My life is confusing right now. And you know how you get like, really low, self-esteem-wise, and you don't want to inflict yourse.f on]p anyfuckingone? except when you like, let it all explode. n stuff. sorry bad migraine trouble seeing straight.

Friday, January 12, 2007

she's leaving on a midnight train to georgia

The Human League version, I didn't get the lyrics wrong.

I caught the last train from work at 12:07 (I've been on a really weird tight deadline that I volunteered to do on a whim Tuesday night and now I have this assload of work almostish done in two days. I am amazing. I am a miracle. I...thrive under pressure because it forces me to do something. Anything) and we went to Open City which is where we usually go after we catch the last train and I like it because it has beer and Gen-Mai Cha and it's open until 2 AM and it was fucking closed, what the cock is that shit? So we went to the place next door that's usually open late and they said no, go to Open Shitty, WTCITS? and so we trudged over to The Diner (same link as before) and got food and were excited to get a pitcher of Fuller's London Porter and the beer lines froze up and again I say, WHAT THE COCK IS THAT SHIT?

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

does anybody really know what time it is does anybody really care

How come on a night when I knew I had oodles of work I had a working dinner where I ended up drinking umm. More tgan I ough to have and now I have to work when all I want to do is go to sleep? Here's another shot of my hair and my purple and pink and lime green argyle socks and my blue nails that are awesome indeed. and now im gonna work.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

too many chocolates keep a fat man fat


That's all. Just, ugh.

I'm so insanely busy I don't have time to drink.

Did you read that? Go back, if you have to.

I don't have time to drink.

Which is good because I need to lose over 100 pounds. Maybe I'll lose something.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

right away mary ann flew in from atlanta on a red eye midnight flight

I flew back to DC to work for two fucking days. Two. Days. I fly home tomorrow. For four days.

So since I had Tuesday off, I decided to make a change.
And the hair, she is gone. And the already freakishly big eyes look even more ginormous. And the weirdly thin (because of this one time in class in graduate school when I pulled out all of my eyebrow hairs) and growing straight down in what I'm told is an Asian characteristic even though I am all northern and eastern European in descent eyebrows look even stranger.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

when i come to the club step aside pop the seats don't be hatin' me in the line

With a small apologies to Karida, who hates Fergie, for today's lyrics. I don't totally apologize. Just kinda small for inflicting Fergie upon you, Karida. But really, I can quote who I want to. So I don't totally apologize.

Is it totally lame that I've been carrying the letter (see post from two days ago if you don't know) around with me and occasionally pulling it out to reread it and I still haven't even read past the first part of the first line of the first sentence of the first paragraph where it says, "CONGRATULATIONS!"? And I still don't believe I passed and I know I didn't say much about it but really if I failed all y'all would hate me forever more and you'd realize what a total loser I am although you probably already know that already don't you? So anyway the deal is that you have to have a certain amount of experience to qualify to take the exam and then you have to pass five 100 question multiple choice exmas and then you can take the sixth essay exam and then you get the letters after your name. The ones that I told Crazy Lady about and her first reaction was, "Good. Now you can quit your job." Huh? "Now you can be a real librarian." Umm. This exam was not a librarian exam. I am a librarian by way of my having a master's degree. I've had said master's for more than ten years now. I just choose to work in the twisted totally meant for oddballs really weird fascinating world of records management that I know everyone out there wishes they were part of.

Back to the fancy letters. Does it mean I know any more? No. I probably know less. Does it mean people who haqve those fancy letters are all brilliant? Huh. Well. Remember Napoleon? (Go on. Read it. I'll wait.) Yep. He has 'em. So do some other people who. Well. Better not say.

But. For some reason, even though I started taking this as a lark, it came to mean something to me. And I still can't believe I passed.

I'm going to take my letter out again and reread it.