Sunday, September 28, 2008

and all around the wall a splotch a blob beware of the blob

Lookit what I actually finished last weekend!
Yes! One Snakeskin Sock, done! I think it's pretty kickass, myself. I put just the right amount of negative ease in it. I started on the second, but I started the pattern too soon - the cuff wasn't long enough - and didn't figure it out until three inches into it so I frogged it.

And then yesterday I seamed the cozy splotchy cardigan, and reinforced the buttonholes, and even sewed on buttons, and did the neck, and the Must Have Cardigan from Hip to Knit in Manos del Uruguay is done.
Knitting time: 8 days. Blocking: 2 days. Seaming: 1 day. I made the 42" size, because I didn't quite get gauge and I didn't want to go down a size smaller. The fit is perfect. The pattern called for 7 skeins of Manos, I used about 5.3.

I'm ridiculously in love with it.

Friday, September 26, 2008

spanish bombs yo te quiero infinito yo te quiero oh mi corazon

Oh please oh please oh please oh please someone please record some of tonight's debate as being televised en vivo on Telemundo and put it up on YouTube oh please oh please oh please, I'd do it myself but that would require something akin to, yu know, effort.

I accidentally hit my remote control and the channel changed to Telemundo from NBC to Telemundo and suddenly I see McCain speaking Spanish, only with a whiny, high pitched tenor voice. Obama responds in a nice, deep baritone stream of Spanish.

And then?

The camera pans to Jim Lehrer, who opens his mouth...and his nice, even voice a woman's voice. Yes, Telemundo chose to use a female translator to serve as Jim Lehrer for these debates. So as Jim's talking, there's a stream of woman Spanish language speak coming out of his mouth.

This may be the greatest moment in the entire election.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

it's oh so quiet shh shh it's oh so still shh shh

Dear Chinese Tourists Visiting the Metro DC Area:

When you get on the Metro at 6:45 AM with a bunch of bleary-eyed suits desperately in need of caffeine, all of whom are surprisingly quiet in the packed-full-o'-workers train cars, please make a note of the hour and the quiet and proceed accordingly. Please do not use this opportunity to shout at the top of your lungs about your plans for the day, sing some kind of song in Mandarin (possibly a Jackie Chan hit?), try out some wacky English phrases that make you laugh, laugh at the wacky English phrases, and repeat. This gives everyone around you a headache.

So. Also headache inducing: email exchange with Crazy Lady. It went something like this, beginning with me.

Don't forget, a new "House" is on tonight.
Oh, okay, I'll watch Olbermann at 10, then.
(ten minutes later)
You know, "House" was a rerun, the new one is on Thursday, the first in the new season, for my birthday! [Crazy Lady's birthday is Thursday.]
Ummm, Mom, the season started last week, and "House" is on Tuesdays at 8. Tonight is a new episode, the second in the new season.
No, [Rambo] and I had seen that episode before, it was a reun., it wasn't. It was a new episode, the second in the new season.
No, the new season hasn't started yet according to (a link to Yahoo! Answers from over a year ago which, hey! was referring to LAST YEAR).
That's when the new season started last year. Look at this info on (link to page on "House.").
I'm not going to argue with you, You're just wrong, the new season hasn't started yet.
Okay Mom. But remind Rambo of last week's Entertainment Weekly with "House" on the cover.
Okay, he's pulling it out now...he's flipping to the article...he just said "Oh, fuck."

At least she can watch the reruns in the Secret Project of Shame (her birthday present), which is complete.
Red Heart feels even worse when you wash it and it's all wet and has that slimy plasticky feeling. But it's better after you dry it with twelve dryer sheets.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail a smile from a veil do you think you can tell

I was sewing up my Afghan of Shame hexagons today and I got an entire strip sewn up and whammo, I figured out that the colors weren't lining up because, moron, I was off by one jog, so I had to pick the entire thing out again, because, of course, I used one single thing of yarn, making it a giant pain in the fucking ass for me to sew up, but, you know, I never ran out of yarn in the strip, and it was the longest strip in the whole thing, seven hexagons to seven hexagons, so once I picked everything out I decided no more sewing up for me, even though yesterday Amber and I went to G Street and got buttons for the Manos cardigan I finished knitting and which is all blocked and the stockinette isn't even rolling or anything and it's all ready for the sewing uppage. Which I'm not all against or anything.

So I rooted about and found a half a sock I started back in the day in February before the broken ribs and all, here's a picture from back then
(Ribbed Lace, from Sensational Knitted Socks by Charlene Schurch) and you know, it looks exactly the same now, only I've knit 39 more rows. I should be decreasing for the toe by now! Why is this going nowhere? And my skein of Lorna's (Laces Shepherd Sock, colorway Envy - I call these my Snakeskin Socks, don't they look like snakeskin or reptilian to you?) is getting smaller and smaller, only this isn't getting any further down my foot.

I figure eventually I'll run out of yarn, and still only be halfway down my foot.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

if you should ever find someone new i know he'd better be good to you cuz if he doesn't i'll be there

Yeah, I'm all yarn snobilicious, but I have a Secret Project of Shame, the likes of which is not being entered into Ravelry. (Amber has seen it. She can attest to its existence. I've actually done a LOT of work on it.)

The thing is, back a thousand years ago when I started knitting and crocheting, all I had was Yarn Brunswick Germantown (LOVED that yarn)... and Red Heart.

So while I no longer use those two yarns (DAMN YOU, Coats and Clark, for buying Yarn Brunswick and ceasing production of Germantown!), one of the two is the yarn in use in the Secret Project of Shame. The one still in production.

EXCEPT I'm making this for someone who will put this in the washer and dryer over and over again and will ruin anything else I make, even cotton and superwash merino.

I've been painted into the Red Heart corner.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

but my dreams they aren't as empty as my conscience seems to be

The thing is, I usually scoff at the "The End is Near!" people, and I really dig CERN, but the whole Large Haldron Collider thing? I'm not so sure about. I like that The Times headlines states "Large Haldron Collider will not turn world to goo", but the fact that such a headline had to be published? It makes me twinge, just a little bit. This thinking used to make my soon-to-be-ex-The-Man-Who-Lives-in-the-House and me bicker a little bit. I was "crazy" and the scientific achievment was "awesome."

But why, exactly, did I need to be reassured about the world not turning into "goo," again?

This makes me want to do mad sorts of things, like, oh, knit something, really fast. I haven't actually finished a sweater in, oh, say, uh...(checking Ravelry projects page)...oh, the Somewhat Cowl in April. So that wasn't so long ago. But that's a tinge too big for me now. And short sleeved. Is it really a "sweater"? Everything else got to an almost finished stage before I lost weight or I couldn't graft or the yarn bloomed like no tomorrow or my gay boyfriend broke up with me or some combination therein. So, on Sunday, while waiting for Amber at Urgent Care (she's okay, she was rear-ended coming to meet me for pancakes, it was a classic case of whiplash), I did a gauge swatch for a cardigan in Manos, which I ripped out and restarted as a sleeve, and now both sleeves are done already.

Which doesn't mean I'll actually finish the sweater, of course, before I lose more weight. Or the world turns to goo.

Friday, September 05, 2008

wonder this time where she's gone wonder if she's gone to stay

Yeah, so almost four months, look at that. This is what happens when your computer goes wonky and starts doing this thing where after using it for 30 minutes (just long enough to update your "Savage Love" and "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" podcasts and sync your iPhone), it tells you it's out of space on the desktop and you check and there's Zero KB available of free space on the hard drive, what the cock? and you have to restart it so you have 5 GB of free space and it all starts over again 40 minutes later. Also when you're managing three projects due at the end of June/middle of July and things fall apart in your divorce and live is full of teh suck in teh general.

Anyway, uh. Actually I don't have anything to say. Except I'll be better at blogging. And let's see, what have I been up to? I went to a wedding and I wore this dress:
and I'm knitting this sweater
and this sweater
I put into Ravelry as "the reason i hate intarsia fish sweater" (Ravelry link) even though the the pattern it's for is really cute (Ravelry link - go ahead, click it, click it right now, it's really important that you click it, it'll open in a new window, click it before you continue reading this) and did you notice? Yes, it is The Official Sweater for That Pattern. The Very Sweater that made me term intarsia The Cocksucking Intarsia is the official sweater for the pattern it represents.

Jenifleur says it should be The Official Sweater of Intarsia.