Saturday, April 29, 2006

wound up can't sleep can't do anything right little honey

Here's a list of things that I hate at this moment in time.

1. Despite my being in DC, I am not totally wasted. I am kinda drunkish, but not enough to get rid of the migraine I have.
2. Said migraine is preventing me from studying. I wouldn't study anyway, but I'd at least like to be capable of not studying. It should be my choice to not study.
3. I was reading the Happy Hooker book, and the same label was Joseph's Cotton brand, color Film Noir, and I realized that I am one of the very few people reading that book who would get that. And then it made me remember that Joseph Cotton died last year or the year before, and that made me sad.
4. I am too drunk to thoroughly read the Happy Hooker book.
5. I bought yarn to make the Prepster jacket from the Happy Hooker, in orange because it;s fabulous, and I realized that orange's last day in Project Spectrum is tomorrow, and I have tons of orange yet to do. That sucks ass.
6. I am too drunk to begin the Prepster jacket.
7. I have to work tomorrow, on Sunday. I'd like to pretend that I'd stiudy, but I wouldn't. But it should be my choice not to study.
8. I can't find my Wobbly Circles tote in progress, with the cocksucking intarsia, and it's largely orange, and would have been perfect with Project Spectrum.
9. The landlord/apartment manager has turned off the heat and it's cold outside.
10. My drunkenness is fading and my headache is returning.
11. I forgot my blinds were opena dn once again pranced about naked in front of everyone walking down Columbia. A lot of people on a Saturday night.
12. I bathed and my hair is wet and cold (see #9).
13. I'm hungry.
14. I'm too lazy to put on clothes to go get empanadas.
15. I can see the empanada place from here.
16. I want the empanada place to deliver so I don't have to move.
17. Even if they delivered, I would want them to come into my apartment and bring them to me in bed.
18. My shoes turned the soles of my feet black and even bathing didn't take off the black. I look like the figures in the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disney World.
19. I fucking hate the tiki bird. I don't give a shit if it's air conditioned.
20. The Happy Hooker book is stuck to me leg.
21. I forgot the rest of my list.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

trash won't pick it up take them lights away

I love the New York Dolls.

Here's my hair, just to keep all y'all up-to-date.
That's purple-black with a few streaks of color removed hair.

outside the trains don't run on time

Why is MARTA so much fucking less efficient or able to, you know, actually work than Metro? Ridership on public transportation is up in every single city other than Atlanta. I took MARTA two days ago to meet someone downtown. I was working on being there about 25 minutes early, and it was rush hour so I figured hey, the trains run every seven minutes, good to go, I get to the station, get on the already jam-packed train, and...we sit. And sit. And sit. And..well, you get the picture. Thirty minutes later, with no announcements from anyone, ever, we left. Got halfway to the next station, and...we stopped.

I ended up being 15 minutes late to my meeting. Thanks, MARTA!

Speaking of being late, Ms. Karida has a new blog. Check it out. And I'll add you, Karida, to my sidebar, when, you know, I get around to adding you. And Mouse. And like, everyone else. And deleting people. And stuff.

So, like, a year or so from now?

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

passing notes is my favorite pass time i can't wait to find a girl to pass mine to

Remember passing notes in junior high? Remeber how you had to fold them up all cleverly so you secured them with a triangular fold in the corner? And someone would give you a note folded differently and you were all agog and aghast to figure out how they folded it nad would they be mad if you stole their folding technique? And you were just plain excited to get the note at all, regardless of what was in it.

We had such a sense of manuscript writing as teenagers that is sadly lost today. Would that I had saved all of my notes from high school. Think of what a researcher in an archives or manuscript library could and would do with our notes. What does this tell us about society?

I suspect the art of passing notes is gone now, overtaken by text messaging. Kids these days lack all creativity.

why don't you walk away no buildings will fall down won't you walk away no quake will split the ground

Due to my insane life right now, I likely won't be blogging every day. As if you couldn't tell that from the past week. My exam is in one week and I am so not ready for it. I'd like to not fail all five parts.

As for Maryland Sheep and Wool Orgy, I still don't know if I'm going, but if I am I'd need someone to pick me up from a Metro station (dealer's choice as to which one, I'll be coming from DC). If I can't get that, well, I definitely won't be going.

Maybe someday I'll get to even read blogs again.

Monday, April 24, 2006

stop wasting your time there's nothing coming only a fool would think someone could save you

I just spent, oh, about eight hours studying different theories of management styles, like Theory X and Theory Y (and may I say, thank you, FSM, for giving us Wikipedia, because I know for damn sure I wouldn't have gotten a concise overview of what I was looking for from any other source, and yay! I got to edit my first Wikipedia entry! Although when I tell you, all y'all'll probably say I shouldn't have edited it; in the entry for Theory Z, which yes, does exist and yes, it's separate from Theories X and Y, someone had added - to paraphrase - "Much like [insert name here]'s management of nuts on the face." Mature. Yeah.) Given a huge list of management theories to study that includes but is not limited to Taylor, Drucker, Hawthorne experiments, Maslow, Herzberg, McGregor, Ouchi, Deming, Juran, Mayo, Gilbreth and Weber, in addition to concepts such as the "I wonder what it's all about, based on the name?" theory of "Management by Walking Around," I am now prepared to answer correctly about 5 of the 100 questions on one of the five exams I will be taking in less than two weeks. That's a whole 1%. Way to procrastinate.

Oh, and by the way.

What the fuck does any of the above have to do with records management? Because I haven't a fucking clue in Hell, and I've been a records manager for over ten years.

Just wait until I get to study the exciting field of reprographics management. (For the uninitiated, that's "copying machines." Yeah, it's a science. No, it doesn't have anything to do with records management, either.)

Saturday, April 22, 2006

but time makes you bolder children get older i'm getting older too

I'm still kinda freaking out about my job and the upcoming exam that I still haven't even begun to fucking study for that I'm leisurely taking my time with the studying for so sorry for my absence this week and here's what I finished last night
here's another view
and I call this one "View of Socks with Cat"
and I started on these, also toe up socks using the technique from the new Knitty that kicks fucking ass and everyone should use it.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

time to walk time to run time to aim your arrows at the sun

I'm not sure I'm ready to share this news yet with the world, but, umm. Here goes.

I got a new job.

It's the job I was kvetching about last month. The one I saw as not enough of a challenge. The one I decided to turn down.

The one that requires me to be in DC full time.

I was offered it on Thursday and I accepted it and I started it yesterday, technically. I have a transition period of about six weeks before I am expected to be full time in DC.

No, I'm not moving. I'll stay at the same place I stay at when I'm in DC. I'll commute home on weekends or every other weekend or something. My marriage will either survive or it won't. If it doesn't, it'll be because of bigger problems than my working in another city.

Wish me luck.

Monday, April 17, 2006

but when i'm lost and torn i'm a soldier of orange i know

No, the cape in question was not, in fact, this fabulous alpaca goodness purchased last year at Maryland Sheep and Wool Orgy:
Thanks, once again, for the fabulous picture, Colette. But this picture does go with the theme for Project Spectrum this month, so I'm reposting it. I'll show a picture of the cape in question (or something similar) in a couple of days. I trust nobody at this point.

Why, yes, I do own multiple capes, why do you ask?

To tide you over and allow me to lose subscribers because nobody wants to actually read about my knitting, here's a bad picture of the almost finished orange toe-up ruffled sock.
I'm on the second one now. I believe, as Jess does, that all of my socks need to be ruffled from now on.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

some will win some will lose some were born to sing the blues

Someone's butcvhering Journey somewhere in the'hood.

and am so wasted.


i have news.

but somehow i'm no ready to share it yet.

i'm scared and nervous and trepidatious and excited and i know this is what i want but still it's a big change.

and my cape so fucking rocks my world. and i figured hey, i'll go into the bar and see jess and she'd mock my cape and i'd say fuck ou, my cape is awesome and she looked at me and said, as i hoped but scarcely expected, "what is this fabulousness that you're wearing?" and this is why jess rocks. becaUSE SHE UNDERTSANDS THE CAPENES s that is the cape.

Friday, April 14, 2006

i got to somewhere renowned for its canals and color of red

Norah, who commented on my blog as recently as three days ago, had a birthday yesterday, but I couldn't link to her because her blog seems to have disappeared. Where'd you go, Norah?

Ann commented the other day that she wouldn't wait to see if I talk to the pads next. I whipped up this little ditty for her.

Dear Stayfree,

Thanks (I think) for the support over the years, but our relationship is at an end.

I switched to you from Always a long time ago, because you don't reek as badly when I'm on the rag (and due to extreme pain, I often can't wear Tampax).

That said, what the fuckety fuck is up with your "wings"? They're really more like "tabs that don't stay in place overnight so when you wake up at 4 am you realized you just got blood all over the sheets" instead of "wings." I ruin more underwear (which I only wear when I have to use you, anyway, because otherwise I'm commando) by using you. Also, your "overnight" length about half covers my size 16/18 twat. I find myself using two pads and overlapping them in the middle to give me extra coverage. Then, I end up bleeding right at the join, so to speak, so hey! It gets all over my underwear and sheets anyway!

I'm switching to Depends (the pad size, not the full diaper size) from now on. I find they stay in place and I don't have to change them every hour.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

and the way i feel tonight i could die and i wouldn't mind

Progress continues on the orange and yellow sock from the other night.

Crochet is in time out.

Life keeps throwing curveballs at me. I think I'm learning how to duck.

And thanks for the comments from yesterday, I'm feeling better today.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

i went to the museum and stood on a chair some girl drew a crowd by what she didn't wear

Dear Midol:

Last night, after drinking beer and bourbon, I wasn't hurting, but for some reason, I took you anyway.

You're a feisty bitch.

You made me throw up from my pain all night long, while not doing anything to help that pain.

This morning, when I realized I shouldn't take you anymore, I wept, because I don't have my crazycatladymel heating packs in DC (and I don't have a microwave here, anyway), and the last time I used Thermacare, I got a burned stomach.

That was before I gave you one last try.

Thank you, Midol. I can go to work now, now that it's, uh, 12:15 PM.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

now i got a job but it don't pay i need new clothes i need somewhere to stay

This evening's plans:
Yes, that isn't last night's crochet. We don't talk about last night's crochet. What that is is a toe-up sock using the new article in the new otherwise mostly suckass Knitty. It was largely easy and well written. And Guinness. Which goes down easy and is well built.

Monday, April 10, 2006

when they kick out your front door how you gonna come with your hands on your head or on the trigger of your gun

My evening plans.
Missing from this picture: Law & Order: Sometimes Something Comes After the Colon playing on my new computer.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

clench your fist and shout at them all it's just a lost cause

Did I mention in my drunken ramblings of yesterday that I'm really proud of my crocheted scarf? 'Cuz I am. It smells like smoke because of the, ah, pubbish atmosphere I was in. But I have it by the window and it was cold last night and it barely smells anymore.

I've been feeling rather antisocial of late. Those of you who have managed to drag me out of my hiding place in the last few weeks, and you know who you are, Melissa, Trixie and Jess, should pat yourselves on the backs, because you made me leave my cave.

There's a knitter meetup hosted by Lolly today at the Mall. I'm in DC. Hey, I have to work today anyway, so it's a perfect opportunity for me to trek downtown, go into the office and work, and go across the street and meetup with other knitters, right?

Yeah. I don't feel up to it. I'd have to be social and sociable and polite and not say "cocksucking intarsia" because it might piss off people and I'm really rather shy. I have to work, and I have to study for my upcoming exam that I haven't even begun thinking about studying for for which I should brush up on some of the essentials, just as a reminder (and I had one of those anxiety dreams the other night, where it was the day of the exam and I didn't know where it was and I overslept and missed it anyway).

So here's the deal.

I will have literally *just* taken the two day exam (really, five parts in two days) on the Thursday and Friday before the Maryland Sheep and Wool Orgy. I know what you're thinking. Here's an ideal opportunity to relax! But, you know. I'm antisocial. I'm whiny. I'm annoying. If I went I'd spend money. I don't want to spend money.

Last year I had a great time hanging with Beth and Colette and Lolly and a host of others. On the other hand, I felt that some of the Great! Blogger! Meetups! ended up being cliquey, which is true in the blogging world in general , so I really shouldn't be surprised. But I tend to be an outsider which makes me, you know, even shyer.

This isn't a beg for all y'all to tell me why I should go! But an explanation to those who might have thought I would be going. I'm...undecided at this point. Please don't be surprised if I don't go. The Georgia Knitbloggers contingency will do just fine without me. (You won't even miss me, frankly.)

Or, maybe it's just my hungover state and the fact that I've been up since 4:30 AM that's talking.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

soylent grĂ¼n ist menschenfleisch

Yeah. I actually had to Google the correct spelling of those lyrics.

Props to Jess!!!!! She'sthe best!!!!!

Can you tell I'm uh, drunk? Hey! I'm in DC!

So I wrote this at the Atlanta airpot this morning on my fancy schmancy new MacBook Pro that I love so hard.

So here I am sitting in the Atlanta airport and I said okay, I'll join the wireless network "ATL-WIFI" but I won't pay for it so I opened iTunes to just you know, create new playlists because I never seem to have time to create playlists any other time, and whammo! You know how with iTiunes you can see other people's music libraries if they're on your wireless network? So I can see Kris's Music library. You know, the only person with an open laptop around here is a withered, tiny Chinese man who looks to be about 70 years old. Either he isn't Kris, or he's hipper that I thought. Let's see what Kris listens to, shall we?

"Feed My Frankenstein." Alice Cooper at his finest.

The entire Alice in Chains discography. Okay, not such bad taste in music...

The entire Yes discography. I take that back.

I wonder if I can figure out how to copy all of his music.

So then I came to DC and I went to Stitch DC and I whined to Jess about how I was unenamored of anything I'm working on knitting wise, Melissa and I talked about this the other night, and I got there and we opened One Skein and whammo! There was a crocheted scarf and I kept asking hey, how many skeins will it take to make this? Because I. Am. A. Dumbass. So Jess assured me I could make the crocheted ruffle cravat in one skank of Blue Sky Alpaca Worsted and I got the green and made two pattern repeats (of ten) and decided I had fucked it up and so did Jess and I grogged it I mean frogged it and started over and made the exact same fuckups so I guess they weren't even fuckups and yes, I. Am. A. Dumbass. And I stood outside in the frigid air, two repeats done, and waited for the bus and did three repeats on the bus and the other five in the bar and here I was, all ends woven in and everything
and here is how much yarn I had leftover
and here is Jess wearing a shitbuttsnatchugly Debbie Bliss sweater, oh my fucking FSM is it ugly, and it makes any wearer look fat, just see before
and after
she's like a cow man. And all because of Debbie Bliss' assugly designs.

So here's a closeup of the One Skank scarf
and here's me looking bad and drunk in a random hat I don't quite remember how I got.
Gomna pass out. After I eat.

Friday, April 07, 2006

oh what on earth would make a man decide to do that kind of thing oh winding up 21,140 pounds of string

So yesterday ms. lalala called me and begged and pleaded to see my face just once before I leave for DC tomorrow morning, so she came over to the pigsty house and knit while I worked and then followed me to my crazy hair salon while I got my haircut and then we ate Mexican and had iced blackberry green tea goodness at the evil empire and she helped me handwind my STR sock club yarn and I came home and started the socks and woke up this morning to hear a loud knocking sound that turned out to be Beans, claws in the ball of yarn (that had been safely put away the night before), ripping the fuck out of it with his teeth and banging it down on the ground with his other paw. There are torn ends everywhere.

So now I have to frog everything I've done so far because otherwise I'll have knots/holes in the yarn and I'd rather start fresh, you know?

Bastard demon cat from Hades.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

black is the color of my true love's hair

Have you ever been in a situation where you woke up and got yourself ready and went somewhere like, say, the car dealership so your car could get a checkup and you went into the bathroom to wash your hands and looked up and oh my FSM your hair looks like a wig? Not like, ewww, lookit my hair, it's more like, huh, my hair looks like it's sitting unattached to the top of my head.

And since you're at the car dealership it's not like you can go anywhere (even though you're starving and it's 7:45 AM and all they have is weak coffee and you know there's a bagel place next to the Starbucks and the new tea shop just down the street but even though it takes about 1.2 minutes to drive there, it's like an 8 hour walk so, uh, no, you won't be walking there anytime soon, and you're wondering if the Toyota dealership, which is naturally across the street from the Honda dealership, gives away doughnuts and should you walk across the busy street during rush hour or just wait until, umm, they get done with your car, which they won't do until they've tried to sell you "Replace the air in your tires with nitrogen!" at least three times, so you're in for the long haul) and fix your hair.

And you left your knitting at home in your haste to pack your (brand spanking new!) computer.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

a comet ride of fantasy to a place where dreams are fast and free

Someone tell me I'm not the only one who remembers The Great Space Coaster. Dude, Baxter, in this description, "a large clown," could not have been creepier. He scared me.

But I loved his rainbow shirt.

Monday, April 03, 2006

who disturbs our meditation as the pebble disturbs the stillness of the pond

So. I knit on the toe-up sock and oh my fucking FSM it looks like ass.
Yeah, about one minute after that the toe-up sock was no more. I conceded that I could have finished it, had I wanted to. I see no reason to do so. It sucks. The pattern sucks, the directions on methods to do it suck, and it ladders like you wouldn't fucking believe. Ahem. I am not a novice knitter, and I haven't found something yet that I couldn't do. But that doesn't mean I have to do everything. I think I'll do this pattern. It'll look cool, I think, in the red and white stripiness.

I'm about to give up on Rockstar. It's too much of a pain in the ass. The silk camisole is endless round of stockinette and I only have 11 inches of 14.5 inches done. And the silk is snagging on my desperately-in-need-of-a-manicure nails.