Monday, November 03, 2008

i'd pay any price just to get you i'd work all my life and i will to win you i'd stand naked stoned and stabbed


My car is broken. $5,000 not covered under warranty broken. Well, maybe it's covered if I blow the car guy. The kind of guy who's all creepy and icky and like the Whole Foods fish counter guy and the DHL guy who comes into the UPS Store when I'm trying to flirt with the guy who works there and the Giant deli counter guy know the type. Just...leave me the fuck alone no you can't have my number go away I won't be your girlfriend I won't be your baby momma I know you already have a girlfriend kind of guy.

So I woke up at too fucking ass crack early o'clock in the morning on Saturday after a really weird fucking week so I could live in-person absentee ballot vote which required me to take public transportation so I figured, get there at 8:30 AM, wait in some sort of respectable line, take public transportation back, get a manicure, have the rest of my day.

I go to Metro's website, get their directions, including walking directions from where the bus drops me off. I get on the bus, tell the bus driver I'm getting off at Anderson and Chain Bridge. He says okay, he'll let me off there. The bus is, I note, good at pre-announcing the stops.

Until Anderson and Chain Bridge, which it it passes Chain Bridge. And the guy doesn't stop. So I pull the chain and the thing says "Stop Requested" and the guy is ZOOMING along and I walk to the front and I say, "Oh, I guess I missed the Andersona nd Chain bridge stop" and thed guy says "yeah, it was back there" - no "oh, sorry I forgot" or anything, I have no idea where I am. Whatever.

The guy zooms around the corner onto Dolley Madison, and other people are pulling the chain, and the guy...RACES past the next stop. DOUCHE. So I go, "HEY!" and he says "What?" and I was like, "We had requested the stop!" and the guy SCREECHES to a stop, in the middle of a divided highway, almost causing an accident. And we all get off and I consult my handy-dandy directions which say "walk NE on Dolley Madison for .76 mi" and lo and behold, Dolley Madison is a divided highway mother fuckers, Metro is trying to kill me, cars racing past me, almost no shoulder, almost got hit, but I finally made it, stood in line, voted, left, missed the buss back, caught a bus in the other direction, and the dude was like the aforementioned creepy dude who refused to let me off until I agreed to go out with him, I told him my name was Debbie (Vitriola? ring any bells?) and ran out of there, and what the fuck? How am I a magnet for these losers?

And why should voting be so hard?

Also, I knit a hat. Things people call a toque. I think that word's stupid, sorry.
It's not for me. It's black. I think you can see that, probably. Cascade 220. Softer than normal Cascade 220. Maybe the black is softer? Anyway. It's a pattern that's kinda cobbled together and modified from someone else's pattern and so on and so forth. Here's a not great picture of the top, it's hard to take pictures of black yarn, to see the spirally goodness.
Yeah. Just a plain black hat.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sure they so totally bought that. You look almost as ridiculous as a Debbie than Debbie looked when she tried to convince everybody to call her De-BORE-ah.

2:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sucks about your car! In NZ we call hats like that beanies. I thought "toque" was just Canadian?

5:32 PM  
Anonymous not jess said...

$5k for a bj? Eliot Spitzer rates.

10:36 AM  

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