Thursday, July 13, 2006

sweet berries ready for two ghosts are no different than you

Burning questions du jour:

1. Does Malan (Project Runway) really have an accent, or is it an affectation to make him sound even more pretentious?

2. Why do people go on Project Runway when they can't use a fucking sewing machine?

3. If someone was a good enough actress to get her SAG card by starring in an epidose of "The Equalizer," what happened to her after that episode? Why have I never seen her again?

4. Why are all hookers and strippers on tv shows really hot and gorgeous and gifted with great bodies?

5. Why is there a third Bring It On movie? If they couldn't even get the same stars as the second had, isn't it a given that it's terrible?

6. Why can't I stop being sick? (It's going on three weeks now.)

7. Why can I not get into any of my knitting projects but I'm obsessed with crochet?

8. How can authors get away with combining "knitting" and "crochet" in a book when it's two separate things?

9. Why did Debbie Stoller get away with "for left side, reverse shaping from right side" when the reversal is impossible if you want to make it match? (e.g., one row in the pattern has you do 2 DC and 1 TR into the same stitch at the end of the row, making a diagonal. If you reverse it, you end up uh, ch 4, well, that takes care of the TR, ok, then you do 1 DC, because that's the increase, and otherwise you'll be increasing twice into that stitch, thanks for telling me that one, Lauren, and then move on, how does a ch 4, 1 DC even come fucking close to approximating 2 DC, 1 TR in the same stitch? IT DOESN'T! IT'S NOWHERE NEAR THE SAME! IT LOOKS LIKE ASSHAT! FUCK YOU DEBBIE STOLLER FOR EVEN PRINTING SUCH A PATTERN AND NOT GIVING HANDY-DANDY DIRECTIONS FOR THIS AT THE BEGINNING OF THE BOOK!)

4 Comments:

Anonymous Melissa said...

Try not to take on the mysteries of the universe, you could get hurt.

I'm equally unmotivated by any knitting. I pulled out my colored pencils this morning before work. Mebbe that will spark something while I'm in this funk :-)

1:02 PM  
Anonymous Lauren said...

If you are doing 2 DC and 1 TC on one side you are increasing by a stitch and making a diagonal, right? So the other side should be chain 4 and two DCs. It will look loose (because of the chain 4) but it should be right. It figures I'm in DC and you aren't so I can't see it to help.

7:43 PM  
Blogger Allena said...

oh the sewing machine got me too!
i'm just starting watching PR but i'm loving it.

11:43 PM  
Blogger John said...

1.both
2.stupidity
3.i have no idea
4.see twisty at iblamethepatriarchy.com
5.your answer is correct
6. sorry to hear that
7.Debbie Stoller
8.modernity
9. see Lauren's commet above
Oh I thought I was taking a test.

7:51 AM  

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