i just want to say...
Who the fuck are Tammy and Paul Powell?
Let's make up a story about Tammy and Paul, shall we? Post in the comments.
Let's make up a story about Tammy and Paul, shall we? Post in the comments.
the life of a librarian who drinks too much and is obsessed with yarn and silent movies.
posted by itgirl at 8:23 PM
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11 Comments:
I'm surprised that you don't know Tammy and Paul, recently released after 37 years behind bars for deep-frying and eating their entire extended family.
With grits.
Of course this caused all kinds of heartburn and 37 years ago there were few of the new drugs available. So they cleaned up the dishes and went to the store in search of some Maloxx. Later witnesses would tell the jury how the couple casually discussed how salty the dish was and complaining about how to use the leftovers while picking out a lovely head of lettuce.
they were only discovered when a finger was found in the grease they ahd thoughtfully put out for the grease recyclers
At first it was assumed that this finger was planted by disgruntled Wendy's customers, hoping to score $50 worth of free chili, however further research revealed that in fact Wendy's restaurants had not yet been established, and the investigator, who was psychic, was seeing visions of future lawsuits.
At least, that's what the so-called "psychic investigator" claimed. He was really a con-artist, running a scam on innocent fast-food restaurants, finding future fault with something minor (usually something he himself planted on the scene)and then bribing restaurant owners and managers to not report on the findings. So when Joe the Phony Psychic Inspector planted a roach nest in the kitchen for future growth and turned around to leave, he was rather like the Psychic Inspector Who Cried Roach.
However, come to find out that Joe is really Paul's cousin. Paul called Joe in to take the heat off of him and Tammy. Paul and Tammy have now applied for a job on the "Praise the Lord" network. Watch your PBS channels.
paul has decided to channel jim baker, but tammy refuses to wear all that eyeliner. so we are unsure exactly which televangelist she's going to be. this may take some time.
Of course Paul and Tammy's recent discovery of "faith" was part of the reason they were paroled in the first place. It has been 37 years and their marriage is still going strong. There was a time there when they were considering seeing other people but neither is admitting that they strayed. This all seemed kosher until Marvin from Memphis came out on the Easter broadcast and explained how he first met Paul...in the shower.
in Sing-Sing. The audience reaction to this revelation was interesting.
Formerly thought of as a "gays are evil" type of church community, suddenly the audience was embracing Marvin and Paul as a bonafide "couple." Turns out, the audience was composed of "ex" homosexuals.
as they were celebrating their "togetherness" and "individuality" a faction from Jesse Jackson's Rainbow Coalition stormed the place, and there was machine gun fire, and flames, and screaming
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