Monday, May 29, 2006

when i get mad and i get pissed i grab my pen and i write out a list of all the people that won't be missed

People on my shitlist today:

1. The bitch who sat in front of me on the flight back to DC today who felt the need to flip her skanky, product filled, unwashed hair over the seat back and into my fucking Coke that I really fucking needed. Bitch also refused to turn off her cell phone.

2. The Vietnamese guy I was stuck next to on the flight, who smelled of sour onions mixed with ash trays and sweat. Dude, learn the meaning of the word "deodorant."

3. The people who make "Honey, We're Killing the Kids" for the bullshit "truth" about what the kids will look like at 40 years old using "state of the art technology." The over-dramatic music is one thing, but they're pimply and balding in the old lifestyle and fully hair-headed in the other, and they have smooth skin and wear Armani suits as opposed to bad dye jobs and spandex. Why do they lose their male-pattern baldness by eating better?

4. The people at Pentagon City who went to the top of the escalator and fucking STOPPED dead in their tracks at the top without moving the goddamned fuck out of the way to let people behind them you know, get off the escalator and ignored the increasingly irritated "Excuse me!" comments from behind them.

5. Myself, for forgetting to get off the Metro at Penagon City, necessitating my getting off at Arlington Cemetery in the middle of Memorial Day with Air Force One flying overhead and running to the other side of the station to wait for 15 minutes in 92 degrees for the train back to Pentagon City.

6. Myself, for forgetting to wear underwear today and then asking for a leg wax.

7. Cole Haan, for making shoes that turn my feet black when I wear them and ruining my new pedicure.

8. Motorola, for not making a dark pink bluetooth headset to match my dark pink RAZR. Yeah, I know I need to stop whining.

Remember to let me or Jen know if you want in on the Awesome Angst Along.


Blogger Ann said...

Sounds like you had a lovely can only get better right? If not, add lots and lots of alcohol, knit a few things and blog me in the morning.



7:56 AM  
Blogger Trixie said...

I wanna join the ANgst along as much as my cocksucking high speed provider will let me. It has been up and down all day and no repairman in sight (although were suppose to be here sometime today)

2:21 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

Thank you! I thought I was crazy that a 150 buck pair of cole haans would turn my feet black. For fucksake. My knockoffs from Sears don't even do that. I suppose that makes me the idiot for paying for Cole Haans...

And I'm so delurking to join the Angst Along. Sign me up!

11:39 PM  
Blogger Alex Ludd said...

Sorry, I'm still stuck on #6.

5:42 PM  
Blogger Zardra said...

Wait... I was pretty sure I've seen a pink bluetooth headset to go with the pink RAZR.

5:51 PM  

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