Monday, September 18, 2006

some day somebody's gonna ask you a question that you should say yes to

I've compiled a partial list of questions I'm asked while traveling, along with my usual responses. This is also known as The Post Wherein All Y'all Discover What a Massive Bitch Rebecca Is.

Q: Are you going to the game?
A: No. (Since there's no mention of which game I might be going to, and there are any number of games going on at any given time, I can honestly answer no, even though it might be nice if they specified something like, "Georgia game" or "Falcons game" or "Redskins game" or something that made me know which game I am being asked about.)

Q: Can you knit me something?
A: No.

Q: Would you be willing to trade seats with my girlfriend so instead of your sitting in an aisle seat towards the front of the aircraft, you're sitting in the last row in a middle seat between a pair of squalling infants and a homeless unshowered man who has the beginnings of SARS?
A: No.

Q: (from flight attendant) Would you be willing to trade seats so this young man can sit with his girlfriend?
A: No. And don't even think of putting the SARS guy or squalling infants next to me, either.

Q: They let you on the plane with those knitting needles?
A: No, it's a figment of your imagination.

Q: But don't you think knitting on a plan is dangerous?
A: It is when you keep inciting the knitter to riot.

Q: I'm not comfortable with your knitting next to me. Would you move or put those needles away?
A: No.

Q: (from flight attendant) Excuse me, could you move to the back of the plane, since the person sitting next to you is not comfortable with your knitting near him?
A: No. But feel free to move him to the back of the plane. As long as SARS guy and the squalling infants don't come up here.

Q: Are you somebody's grandmother, since you're doing that knitting thing?
A: Yes, isn't it obvious? I mean, I know I appear to be younger than my 32 years, so I can totally see where you'd get that impression.


Blogger Beth said...

Hmmmm ... I see nothing bitchy here, major or otherwise.

7:13 PM  
Blogger Ann said...

It all appeared to be perfectly normal to me.

...and had me laughing hysterically.

Thanks my friend for the giggle!

10:35 PM  
Blogger jenifleur said...

What a bunch of twats those airline travelers are. I have enough examples of my own to fill a book and I don't travel like you do. When is the TSA going to make some rules against THAT shit?

My verification word is "modkoq". Heh. Koq.

2:27 PM  
Blogger laura said...

as a former flight attendant it has been my personal experience that 99.9% of passengers are complete twats, however that flight attendant sounds like one too, shame on her for letting the side down.

5:02 PM  
Blogger Gothknits said...

Don't they know by now that knitters are much safer WITH their needles than without?!?!?! I feel your pain.

4:01 PM  

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