Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Metro Barbie and Wonder Blogger

Over banana cream pie and whipped cream, Itgirl requested guest blogging services whilst she cavorts with her minions in the DC Metro area. Reluctantly, I agreed. Afterall isn't this the job of WONDER BLOGGER (aka Rabbitch) ??? I feel unworthy. However I am easily swayed by sweets especially cream pies.

Sweets. Ugh.

Yesterday I visited the dentist for the first time in almost 3 years. I was going regularly until mid-2002 when the new dentist I was using in Atlanta informed me I had 10 cavities. WTF ? How did I go from "lovely teeth" six-months ago at my Florida dentist to 10 cavities with this assbeagle ?????

Obviously someone needed money for their upcoming cruise and my mouth looked like a sucker. Now I like suckers as much as the next guy but not as much as Kojak .. so I decided to pass on the fillings.

When we moved to DC, I was just overwhelmed with things to do and people to see. There was no time and by the time someone recommended a dentist, I was starting to pack to come back to Atlanta.

WaWa knows that I have a deep suspicision of dentists as a result of the cavity/crusie episode. So while he is getting some early morning coffee and wood chips, he happens into a dentist in a strip mall. WaWa finds out that they take our dental plan and signs us up. Next thing I know he is getting his teeth cleaned and complaining about how rough the hygentist was during the procedure. Yes, these are exactly the kind of comments that I WANT TO HEAR before going myself. Of course then Itgirl and the Man Who Lives in The House chime in with their negative experiences and before you know it I am trying to flee.

So yesterday, the dentist really surprised me. In practice for 8 years, she started her own practice because she and her previous employer could not reach an agreement on standards of care. So she would not buy into his practice. The office is neat as a pin. They only see 2 patients at a time - usually only 1 patient at a time. The hygentist and the dentist both clean and polish teeth. In fact the dentist did my procedure from start to finish. The chair comes with a massager unit, two tvs, and music headphones. You just listen to your choice of music and get a massage while they are working away on your teeth. She also used a camera to show me various angles of my childhood filling. The photos were then saved to a library all about ME and MY TEETH. This was so funny ! She talked to me for quite a while about my previous dental experiences and sent me home with full-size "samples". All of this and NO CO-PAY. My teeth are lovely. I have no cavities and she almost fell out of the chair when I told her about having 10.

So when WaWa returned, I explained how terrific this dentist was and what a good job he did at picking her out (wink wink nudge nudge).

WaWa's face pickled up like a prune. What massager ? What music ? What camera ? Why did SHE clean your teeth ? Suddenly he was the one not so enamoured with the dentist.


Blogger Rabbitch said...

Well. My role as guest blogger has been usurped.

I'm relieved, while simultaneously being deeply offended and grief-stricken.

I'm so busy I haven't even been READING blogs lately. Kill me now.

7:20 PM  

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