Sunday, September 24, 2006

it was at that time i swear i lost my mind i started making plans to kill my own kind

Dear Fellow Delta Airlines Passengers:

I, too, am highly frustrated by the current weather conditions in the Atlanta area. I, too, want very badly to travel successfully to Washington-Reagan National Airport as soon as possible. I, too, am a bit cranky over the fact that the 8:30 PM flight has been delayed until 11:00 PM and this means I won't be home until 1:00 AM and you know? That really fucking sucks. What's perhaps worse for me is that fact that I completed the neverending legwarmers, which are, as you read this (unless you're reading this long after the date I posted it, in which case, that's your problem, not mine), soaked and blocking on the floor of my closet amongst the construction and cables and dead roaches that abound in there, and I am running out of yarn on this ball of Rowan 4-Ply Cotton for my Orangina, so really, I have nothing to knit. Nothing. Do you even have a clue what that means?

However, when several of the flights to National, Dulles and Baltimore have been cancelled, and the fine folks at Delta are working industriously to get you on a flight as soon as possible, why do you feel the need to yell and scream at them and everyone else who comes near your path? Do you honestly believe that your grandiose posturing will get you on a flight before someone else? Do you believe that because you are somehow more important than I am, that I ought to willingly give up my seat?

I'm here to tell you, I won't. Please back the fuck off. I have a confirmed seat on the now 11 PM flight. I will be on that flight, or someone will pay dearly for the opportunity to have my seat and will give me a hotel room for the evening. And than I'll be ahead of you, because I'll have gotten free food, a free room, a good night's sleep, and early morning flight, and $400 in travel vouchers. And you'll get to DC at asscrack early and will still be miserable and will inflict said misery upon all those around you.

Now, if it's the same to you, I'm off to the bookstore, to get some reading material for the next four hours.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought of you on Friday as my flight was delayed at BWI, then in Atlanta, and then landed like a total of 3 hours late at Midnight in Tallahassee the backwater of North Florida with a 60 minute drive to Sneeze. People were talking to me that I didn't want talking to me and people were trying to switch seats with me. You were very much on my mind. Hope to see you for dinner this week.

8:25 PM  

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