the piano has been drinking not me not me not me not me not me

First, I'd like to thank (I think) JenLa for giving me an excuse to quote that Tom Waits song. I still can't believe I beat Rabbitch in the "Assdrunk Post" category, though.

Speaking of Rabbitch, apparently, when I was, uh, drunk, I offered to send Herself a cardigan. I read about this today in her post taking me up on my offer. Hunh. Well, I never say anything I don't mean, and I know exactly which cardigan I am going to send her. And thank you, Rabbitch, for giving me the motivation to actually finish sewing up that fucking cardigan that has been sitting completed and un-sewn-up for eight years. I hope you like Filatura di Crosa 501 in purpley-plum.

Now for my resolutions:

1. I'm going to throw out the intarsia fish baby sweater that's almost done. Fuck intarsia.

2. I'm going to use the word "fuck" a bit less in my posts. I shall replace it sometimes with something more fitting, such as words with the prefix of "cocksuck-".

3. I'm going to refuse to do any intarsia work this year. Fuck intarsia.

4. I'm going to get another tattoo, and I'm going to repierce my navel. (This one is really apropos of nothing related to knitting. It's just a resolution.)

5. No matter how appealing or how small the project, I will remember that intarsia was created by demons from hell and I shall not succumb. Fuck intarsia.

6. I'm going to try to find all of my stash. I don't think I'll succeed, because, I don't know where it all is. I am not going to be all geeky and librarianesque and catalogue it (even though I could). I will however...

7. Catalogue my increasing ginormous collection of knitting and crochet books and magazines. Or at least organize them in one space in my library. And maybe apply the Dewey Decimal System to them. It's perfect for small collections such as mine.

8. I will practice my piano more.

9. I will find the three sweaters I started to make for my late father and throw them out or offer them up here on the blog for frogging, along with any associated yarn. I can't think about them. And one of them has intarsia. Fuck intarsia.

10. I will send the stuff out to people I've been meaning to send for months. This includes what I bought Rabbitch, with Beth and Colette's kind assistance, at the Maryland Sheep and Wool Orgy, as well as Dani's comtest winnings from April.

11. I'll attempt to be better at addressing comments, because I suck ass at it now, even though I read them all, and I won't be freaked out by people who don't comment telling me when they meet me in person that they know who I am from my blog.

12. I shall not make the one pillow pattern that would go perfectly in my bedroom, because it has intarsia. Cocksucking intarsia.

There, that's one resolution for each month. I give myself a week before I start a new intarsia project without having sent out the swag amid my pile of unshelved knitting books.