Friday, January 13, 2006

that's me in the corner

Yeah, that's me all right. Right in the fucking corner. No spotlight for me, thanks.

While some fancy bitches are busy churning out lace like a gang of Irish nuns on meth, guess who decides to knit a sock?

Yeah, Miss Imagination herself.

So here I am:

And I quote "a happy little sock", doing all of her dirty work for her, because she's too drunk, lazy and old to write one blog, nevermind two, and has come up with the cute idea of having a "guest" guest blogger, and I got the short straw.

Contrary to popular opinion, rather than being "a happy little sock" I would like to note that I'm actually 2-1/2 inches of seething hostility. (Yeah, two and a half inches. Want to make something of it? I'm a sock for FSM's sake -- what'd you expect, Ron Jeremy?)

So seeing I'm in charge around here, there are gonna be a few changes. To start with, this place could use a little excitement. Therefore, we are today introducing a brand new feature called "Roadkill or Fashion Statement?"

Our first entry:

is that a possum on your head or are you just pleased to see me?

As you can see, her last haircut (which she's wearing at this very moment) wasn't quite as successful as she would have liked. I'm thinking in some countries people are shot for cutting hair like this, but she paid them and even TIPPED the hairdresser, even though they didn't do what she asked and now she looks like her head exploded.

Sad, hmm? She'd probably prefer that picture not be published, but that's the sort of thing that happens to you when you knit socks instead of lace.

Consider yourselves warned.


Blogger Melissa said...

I tipped the bitch who murdered my hair before the rehearsal dinner for my wedding, too. I just wanted it blown out as I was going to put it into a bun for the wedding the next day since I'd be in traditional Korean clothing for part of it. She sees my skin tone & is convinced she can't work with "ethnic" hair. My hair's f'ing curly! If I had fair skin and red ringlets instead of black, she'd have known what to do. She thought what she did was very Billie Holiday...Billie didn't have straight hair either.

She put so much styling crap in my hair that it was sticky to the touch. I stuck my head under a faucet as soon as I got home and washed my money down the drain.

So, Rabbitch...are you going to blog drunk for us, too? ;-)

12:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I see nothing wrong with that haircut. Maybe not what you wanted, but short little curls? Nice.

12:49 PM  
Anonymous Imbrium said...

Aw...poor little sock. What if you were a lace sock? Would that be better, or just mockery?

(I think the hair is cute, too, but I'm wondering what "Miss Imagination" is looking at...)

1:26 PM  
Blogger Zardra said...

I'll never forgive the hairdresser who, when I asked for layers, proceeded to cut my hair into three straight and obvious levels. I may have a lot of hair, but it's fine, so the longest "layer" looked like it belonged on a cancer patient.

As for the Happy Little Sock... socks can be just as magic as lace, just wait till it gets to the heel. *grin*

4:04 PM  
Blogger Micky said...

Well now. I expected something fun, but Ron Jeremy? I had no idea it would be this good. lol
You are doing a lovely guest spot dear sock. Keep it up.

6:01 PM  
Blogger La said...

Hey, I think you're related to the angry 7 inches I was knitting last week. Nice to meet ya.

7:31 PM  
Blogger dragon knitter said...

i think your hair's cute. maybe not what you wanted, but cute. now, my big question, is who is ron jeremy? (showing my naivete).

the last time i got my hair "cut" the guy snipped a tiny bit at the ends, and i think mark gets more hair off his face every morning than that guy cut off. now, granted, i have hip length hair, and i didn't want to take off alot, but still! thank goodness all he charged me for was a beard trim (hmmmmm, think on that)

11:15 PM  
Blogger Wendy said...

Heh. I'm a fancy bitch. Heh!

12:07 PM  
Blogger jenifleur said...

so much anger in such a small sock. whatever will become of you when you have a heel and a toe?

11:52 AM  

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