Sunday, December 16, 2007

it's getting to the point where i'm no fun anymore i am sorry

It's really hard to be depressed. It's even harder to admit you're depressed. And it's even harder still to live through your depression for months after admitting that your depressed.

So, here I am, depressed, yes, and the more "help" I seem to get, the more depressed I seem to get. Medicine has only changed my depression to a different type of depression. I want to hide out and not talk to anyone or see anyone or go anywhere or do anything.

I'm getting pretty successful at it.

The one good thing, if you call it good, I guess, is that I've lost an insane amount of weight. I don't have an exact number, but I've dropped somewhere around 3 or 4 full clothing sizes. Maybe about 75 pounds or so?
(This obviously isn't my everyday wear.)

So if I'm not blogging, well, I'm not doing anything, really.

I'm in the last stages of sewing up the I hate Starbucks blanket. Here are some pics.
It's twice as wide as this, actually.


Blogger Sarah said...

how's your health physically speaking? I hope that's improved!

Looking good, by the way!

Hell, I know how hard it is to drag myself out of the flat sometimes and I'm not depressed. So I know it must be really tough. I'm trying to make plans in advance of stuff I'm going to do and then hold myself to doing it. Works about half of the time.

2:49 AM  
Blogger Mouse said...

You've been missed.. if its any consolation. Congratulations on your weight loss, even if it is due to crappy depression.. you look great!
I know about the depression rollercoaster garbage far too well.. unfortunately I've taken to eating & gaining weight rather than the other way around.

7:22 AM  
Anonymous cdaniele said...

I know it sucks to be depressed, I have chronic depression. The meds I'm on are working for me now. Tell your doctor the ones you're on aren't working, there are tons of anti-depressants, one of them will work, you just have to take some time and find the right one. Message me on Ravelry if you want to talk, I've been dealing with this for 20 years.


10:43 AM  
Blogger Trixie said...

Nice outfit! Love the hair. Wish we could have met up this weekend. SIL didn't have the baby which is actually a GOOD thing. I was thinking about you alot and so glad to see this post. Follow the advice CIN gave, ok? I miss you.

2:07 PM  
Blogger Jasmin said...

I am getting the "right kind" of help for the first time since I was first diagnosed with depression, ten years ago. I had to scream and kick and yell at Kaiser to get it, but I finally got what I needed.

I know you probably don't have the energy to scream and kick and yell. Shoot me an e-mail and I'll give you my list of things that I bombarded my GP with.

Be strong, and smell lots of wool.

2:39 PM  

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