another unclothed day

Due to the arrival of the general contractors at 6:45 AM, this is my current state of (un)dress:Of course, I went out to an appointment, and then went shopping for clothing at Bloomingdale's and Nordstrom's in this state of dress.

Oh yeah, and I forgot to put on underwear of any sort.

Did I mention my footwear is the dead Muppets?So I bought a pair of black trousers, Jones New York, and a skirt, Eileen Fisher, both of which needed to be hemmed. Because I start my new job on Monday, I fly to DC on Sunday morning at the godawful hour of 7 AM. I have a baby shower on Saturday so I really need these by tomorrow. Because I just spent *cough* lots of money *cough* on clothes they were more than happy to do a rush alteration job for me for tomorrow. Until the little alterations man comes in (and I'm already uncomfortable because I'm convinced he can see all the way up the skirt to the fact that I'm going commando, and it's obvious I'm wearing no bra beneath my ancient and faded Siouxsie and the Banshees concert shirt and my gigantic breasts are bobbling about), and the man demands to see my shoes.

I'm not wearing any shoes, I'm wearing dead Muppets.

"But you must be wearing shoes! I cannot do alterations without proper shoes! Cannot determine proper height!" He gets very excited and goes and finds the saleswoman. This causes a ruckus. She and I try to talk him into hemming the pants with my bare feet. "But I don't know height of heel you wear with pants!" I try to explain that I wear all different heights of heels with my pants, so just hem the pants to any old height and I'll be happy as a clam. This upsets him even more and causes more of a ruckus. All of the salespeople are called over and three more people from alterations have to come up. He finally hems the pants in my bare feet, muttering and shaking his head the entire time.

The Stitch DC people finally came through with the final skein of Lobster Pot cashmere, along with the final skein of the blue:I love the color of the blue.

Now, let's turn our attention to my backyard.

Some stupid bird has decided to toss out all of the birdseed on the ground so the stupid squirrels can eat it now, thereby defeating the purpose of putting the birdseed in the bird feeder.Right next to it is evidence of my black thumb.Here is my dead rosemary shrub.I followed all instructions and it still shriveled up and died in fear of living near me. Here is a camelia which bloomed two days ago. It's already dying.Things that grow run away from me. This is why I am never having children. Beans is more than enough. It's amazing he's still alive.