Saturday, December 10, 2005

and if my thought-dreams could be seen they'd probably put my head in a guillotine

You know, I innocently meandered over to Knitty Gritty to check out this week's episode and OH MY FUCKING GOD MY EYES WHERE ARE MY EYES THEY'RE BLEEDING WHAT THE BLOODY HELL HAPPENED TO MY EYES ok maybe if I click on the other sweater they're making on the show that episode it'll be much better and OH THE HUMANITY! THE HUMANITY! well if I scroll down to the fashion show at the bottom of the page surely Needful Yarns has done something good with their knitting - oh.

First, for the halter top. Aren't we done with the fun fur halter top thing, since that one weird pattern in Knitty some many years ago? Who thought it was a good idea to resurrect this? This is not a classic.

Second. The description of the pullover reads: "a mohair pullover with randomly applied novelty-yarn tassels." Oh, yes, tassels. Me, I prefer my tassels to be applied directly to my nipples by way of my pasties, but I could see where some would want them to show through the mohair pullover. Because pasties + mohair = a winning fashion combination! Quick, someone call Miuccia Prada!

Let's scroll down to the fashion show, though. First, we have "a sweater knit of randomly textured yarn." The designer made this shapeless and made the sides lower than the waist, and then put it on a model whose figure could not pull off any of the following alone, let alone together: a) shapeless, b) higher waist than sides, or c) randomly textured yarn. Next, we have "a shell that combines two contrasting textures in the same color." *yawn* Last, a "stunning crocheted wedding dress." That has a lot to do with knitting, being that it's crocheted.

I blame not Vickie Howell, except maybe that she let the show go through. I blame Needful Yarns for sending this designer to the show. They don't have anyone better to send? (Unless Vickie invited this designer, in which case it's all her fault.)


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