Tuesday, January 31, 2006

i'm a cowboy who never saw a cow never roped a steer 'cause i don't know how and i sure ain't fixin' to start it now

Clearly, we are all missing out on The Next Great Knitalong, and honestly, I can't believe nobody thought of it before. I'm ashamed in all of you. You have been neglecting this incredible entry in the Great American Afghan Contest.

There, now that you've seen it, do you see what I mean?

Really, I'm sure Frieda Harris worked really hard on her contest entry. When I think of the sacrifices she made, designing and working with all of that Red Heart Super Saver, well, seriously. I am sure her family sat around and oohed and aahed over the final results, and the kids are going to fight over it in her will, and the obituary in the local paper will include a line that "she once took first place in the cross stitch category a national afghan design contest." There's likely a local color piece about her now, and a picture of her sitting at her kitchen table, coffee cup in front of her (decaf, because she can't have the regular stuff since her heart troubles, you know), pointing to the letter she received from Herrschner's telling her she won and the check for her winnings. Scattered among the piece are images of her other cross stitch/crochet hybrids and a picture of the winning afghan, with the caption, "The winning afghan. Mrs. Harris received a $50 gift certificate to the sponsoring craft company as a prize." And at bingo night at the Elks Club, the numbers caller will even announce it for everyone to hear, and she'll get a round of applause. And boy she showed that nosy Mabel Summers, who always takes first place at the county fair in both the crochet division and the apple pie division, and everyone knows Mabel doesn't put any lemon juice in her apple pie, and that's why people always tell Frieda her apple pies are so much better.

Come on, tell me you didn't think exactly that when you saw that afghan.

8 Comments:

Blogger Ramona said...

The first thing I thought of was Elvis, painted on black velvet. I wonder why?

9:43 AM  
Blogger Rabbitch said...

I would have thought that but it's hard to think that many words when you're vomiting.

10:49 AM  
Blogger Trixie said...

It could have done double duty as a horse blanket.

10:58 AM  
Anonymous Sorcha said...

Having seen your comment, I am glad I am not you.

11:15 AM  
Anonymous Imbrium said...

Actually, my first thought was "cross-stitch afghan?" Why? I can't imagine what would inspire me to cross-stitch an afghan. And cross-stich with yarn? I didn't know such a thing was possible.

It's all very confusing.

11:33 AM  
Blogger Melissa said...

Let this be a lesson to all of you. Just because you *can* it doesn't mean you *should*

1:05 PM  
Blogger Zardra said...

Cross-stitch an afghan? Why? I'll leave all the glory to Frieda...

2:49 PM  
Blogger Jane said...

Thank goodness it's cross stitch. I was woozy thinking of all that being knit! Not that it makes it any better, just that it provides an explanation. Going to wash my eyes out now.

4:39 PM  

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