Thursday, March 02, 2006

you can go around in circles and never find the perfect lover

Huh. I don't think I've ever quoted Joan Jett before. There's probably a reason for that, and if you know me, you know why. It has to do with The Man Who Lives in the House. Still, no reason to exclude an entire library of music.

First, a public shout-out, yo, to Hockey Mom, who inspired me to try my hand at My So-Called Scarf, which I guess is payback for my part in inspiring her to do Seven of Nine Branching Out. It isn't going to work in the Blue Sky Bulky, but it gave me the perfect thing to do with the red and pink Hand Maiden Ottawa I had in umm, the sock drawer in my closet. I have no idea why it was there. Maybe I was thinking, "Hmmm, socks, I knit socks, therefore yarn goes in this drawer." But it's not like I could knit socks out of it, so, hunh. In any case, I wound it last night and I got about halfway through winding and surprise! those fuckers had two smaller skanks wound into one bigger one. They didn't even bother to attempt to tie the two together. It was just two disparate skanks. Cocksuckers. But I've gotten 8" done already. It's quite a fast knit.

And speaking of cocksucking, I've been dreaming of doing the cocksucking instarsia. I saw the preview for Leigh Radford's Wobbly Circles felted tote in the new IK (my subscription ran out and The Man Who Lives in the House claimed he would pay for the renewal and yep, the bill sitting there on his desk, waiting to be paid, along with the invoice for Bust, but I noticed he had no trouble paying for the renewals of Make and Nuts & Volts. Oh, the joys of living with an engineer) and I am obsessed. OBSESSED. I have never felted before (I know, I know, I haven't dyed yarn either, you gonna sue me or something?) and I feel the need to start now. Here's the beauty of the pattern. If the cocksucking intarsia is massively fucked up and puckery and just plain fug on the backside, WHO WOULD KNOW? I have been eying the Teva Durham argyle vest, but I think this is a better way to give up on my New Year's resolution.

FELTING! It's such a simple solution! Now I must go buy the magazine and find some yarn and start.

Edited to add:
Yeah, wouldn't you know it, after I wrote this I went to JenLa to see La publically diss the cocksucking intarsia tote. La, how can you diss something that solves a major part of the reason intarsia sucks cocks? And it's a small project, so it wouldn't be like the colored square blocks sweater I knit a few years back (and the pictures on the pattern itself, by Sirdar, so I should have known, should go on You Knit What? which yeah, begs the question as to why the fuck I did it in the first place, in chenille, no less, and I way overestimated the amount of yarn needed, so I have enough chenille in four colors left for three more colored blocks sweaters, and the finished result was so shitbuttsnatchugly I probably burned it, or gave it away to Goodwill where it's probably still sitting there on a rack waiting for someone like Frieda Harris to grab it up and tell all of her friends how she got it for just $0.25 and wasn't it a steal?) where I spent forfuckingever twisting that damn chenille and had to mess with gauge and change needles when I got to certain colors of the blocks to keep gauge. It wouldn't be like that, because it's FELTED.

4 Comments:

Blogger Janice in GA said...

My motto:
Life is too short to knit with chenille.
I can't imagine what it would be like in intarsia. Jeezopete.

9:42 AM  
Anonymous Imbrium said...

That Teva Durhan vest is pretty cute, even if it is cocksucking intarsia.

Looking forward to you going apeshit over the bag. :)

12:53 PM  
Blogger jenifleur said...

Ok, I'm not La, but (No, seriously y'all-we are TWO SEPARATE PEOPLE) She didn't really diss it, she was just sort of whelmed. In fact, earlier in the day she told me she liked it. But I will be happy to diss it for you. I can't understand the logic that goes: I will knit something frustrating and shitty looking and then wreck it in the washer. I felted a bag once. At the end of it I was like wtf was the point of that? I could have bought FELT and saved the nice yarn for KNITTING. That's just me. I think if that's what you like doing, go for it. I'm gonna keep my eye on the KAL for the bag because I think the color combos people come up with will be way better than the one in the mag. I bet there will be some cute.

The costume designer I'm staying with loved the wobbly circles tote, FWIW.

Now if you're going to all the trouble of knitting the cocksucking intarsia (can we just call it CI?) an argyle vest is a worthwhile endeavor. I personally feel I may be forced to knit argyle socks, so maybe we can be in cocksucking intarsia arglye (CIA) hell together.

2:03 PM  
Blogger Zardra said...

Boy, is my mind in the gutter today. I was thinking something completely different with magazines called Make and Nuts & Volts until you said The Man in the House was an engineer.

5:17 PM  

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