fools i said you do not know silence like a cancer grows

I know everyone was being silent on my last post in honor of Marcel Marceau, but Not Jess won't let me post anything else until you all comment on what a fabulous seaming job she's done.

i keep mine hidden but it's so easy for you because you let yours flail into public view

It's amazing how starting a new job filled with four fun-filled days of orientation about one's new organization can exhaust one. At least I have successfully reknit everything I frogged on Sunday. But I'm too tired to take a picture. Instead, here's a picture of someone who is not Jess' amazing seaming work on the cardigan she's made in The Fibre Company's Terra, one of the most amazing yarns, merino, baby alpaca, and silk, which I think she's done in Eucalyptus (bottom left of the page).Yes, there really is a seam in this picture.

I, myself, started one in Blue Spruce, before I moved, having bought most of the skanks available in that colorway at Stitch DC, which means who knows where that is. But I shall finish it. Especially after seeing this.

she said wait a minute honey i'm gonna add it up

So I finished the sleeve, with like, seven different shoulder techniques, the saddle-set-in-drop-raglan-cap sleeveand so I started on the front. So let's look at the math here.

I worked 2.5" of ribbing, for a total of 2.5".

The pattern then said to work stockinette stitch until the piece measured 3".

So I proceeded to work an additional 3" of stockinette stitch, for now a total of 5.5".

The pattern then said to said some stitches on a holder, and work until the piece measured 9".

So I proceeded to work an additional 9" of stockinette stitch, for now a total of 14.5".

Does anyone else see the error in my math, here? Anyone?

I'd like to point out that I was doing this today, while sitting at Stitch DC, talking to Jess and Not Jess, and nobody caught my mistake, especially not me. (I blame only myself for this.) And I just finished this sort of complicated pocket left front piece and combined all of these pieces together and worked all the way up to the 14.5" until I realized my mistake, that I just knit way the fuck fucking more than I fucking needed to and this whole fucking thing looked longer than it should have the entire fucking time fucking anyway fuck fuck fuck cocksucking fuck fuck me fuck.

FUCK.

I now have 196 yards of Aurora 8 to frog.

Oh yeah.

FUCK.

can't stop addicted to the shin dig

Hands hurt knitting sleeve want to finish knitting it must stop for the night/morning get sleep need sleep can't stop even to punctuate this post here was sleeve last night at 6 PMand this morning at 10 AMand tonight at 8 PMand now it's way way way longer even than that it's over 21 inches long which is longer than the pattern calls for but I'm making everything longer and there's an error in the pattern but I called Black Purl and they were super nice and told me what the error was and someone else called just today and asked them the same thing so someone else is out there making this too can you imagine oh and the pumpkin hat is from the book Itty Bitty Hats and yes it does fit me

have i ever told you how good it feels to hold you it isn't easy to explain

An unexpected call came from Trixie on Friday night with the news that she was getting her son on Saturday. Must knit something!What could be more perfect than a pumpkin hat, really, in Karabella Aurora 8?

why do we never get an answer when we're knocking at the door

Most all y'all won't be interested in this questionnaire, so skip it. (I changed some things and took it out from behind the cut for now.)

Fiber Fairy Godmother Questionnaire

General Fiber Questions:
What are your fiber-related hobbies? (Knit, Crochet, Spinning, Needlepoint, etc.) - knit, crochet, some needlepoint, cross-stitch, embroidery, quilting, sewing, crewel, tatting
How long? - forever
Which are you *most* into? - knitting
How would you classify yourself in this craft - beginner, intermediate, advanced? - advanced, I guess
What is your current fiber-related obsession? - I don't really have one
What are your favorite items to make? - socks
What are you making right now? - a sweater for my friend Bill and fingerless mitts and a million other things
What other crafts or Do-It-Yourself things do you like to do? - everything, kind of

About the fiber:
Your favorite yarn(s) (brand or type)? - I don't know that I have one. Anything wonderful.
What fibers do you absolutely *not* like? - acrylic tends to feel icky, and sometimes cotton feels like rope to knit with but it depends on what one it making
Is there a yarn you've been dying to try? - something made from corn? I don't know?
Are you a fiber snob? - probably.

About the tools:
Hardwood, Bamboo, Aluminum, Plastic? - depends on what I'm making.
For knitters: Straight, DPN or Circular needles? - DPNs and circulars
Favorite gadget? - swift
Anything you've been wanting to try? - ?

About you:
Do you pamper yourself? Or do you generally come last? - last, recently
What does an ideal day off/free hour consist of for you? - shopping
Are you allergic to anything? - no
What is your family situation? (Partner, spouse, kids, etc.) - undergoing a divorce
Are you owned by any pets? - we're fighting for custody of the cat
Your favorite color(s)? - weird shades of green.
Any colors you just can't stand? - I'm not big on blue
What's your favorite scent? (for candles, bath products etc.) - lavender
Least favorite? (Maybe you're not "allergic," but it makes you want to die) - rose
How do you feel about candy? - I'm okay with it but it's no big deal to me
Any dietary restrictions? - no
Is there anything that you collect? - cookbooks and kitchen gadgets, because I love to cook
What is your favorite holiday? - I don't really have one but maybe Halloween
Do you have an online wish list (e.g. Amazon, Things I Want)? If so, share the link. If nothing else, it will give your Godmother more ideas about your likes/dislikes. - I'll send it along later
Can your computer/stereo play MP3s? - yes, it's a Mac
What kind of music do you like? -jazz, old school punk (The Clash, Ramones) and new wave
Any special requests in case your Godmother wants to make a CD for you? - no, I'm eclectic
Favorite movie(s)? - Singin' in the Rain
Any "fan" stuff? (e.g. Firefly, Wonder Woman, etc.) - not really
Anything we missed? Tell, Tell! - my yarn stash is terrifyingly huge. It's in two cities. Even I don't know what I have.

so i turned myself to face me but i've never caught a glimpse of how the others must see the faker

So, here's the sweater I'm making for my friendalthough I'm not sure you can see the cable braid down the sleeves. I'm done with the back, oh glorious stockinette stitch done on the Metro, whilst falling asleep on the orange line (I always get on able to get one of the last seats, aren't you jealous?).Since the left and right front instructions are near to impossible to decipher, I start on a sleeve next.

And since I'm not sure I've mentioned it, I am leaving my safe cushy job of government contracting on Tuesday. I've contracted to the same federal government agency for the past five and a half years and it's a bit scary to move on to a new position. What if I fail? What if everyone sees me as the massive fuck-up that I really am? How have I faked it for this long? How will I fake it at a giant international government banking conglomerate that spans, oh, the whole world?

the sun is white and the moon is grey and the river is black and blue and green

And I lied when I said I'd start the second mitt because instead I started a cardigan for my friend Bill out of Karabella Aurora 8, color 22 which is a charcoal grey, beautiful, it's a Black Purl pattern but the picture isn't on their Web site (poor small little company needs help with their Web site design). Here's a bad picture of the ribbing, although I have about 9 inches of the back done so far.

twenty hours later i fill the room with bad sex and bad tea

I'm knitting the Composed Mitts from the Fall Interweave Knitsand I got Jess to help me with the bobbles which means she made all of them and then I put the knitting down for a week and picked it up again yesterday hanging with Jess and Shelley at Stitch DC and did a few rows and then this morning knit one whole mitt, blocked it and will start the second tomorrow. Here are some pics.This is blurry but shows the true colors.Yes there are a trillion kabillion ends to weave in after the blockingage. Which commenced after these pictures were taken. I used The Fibre Company Khroma which is gloriousity to knit with (purchased at Stitch DC).

Okay so. I was chatting with Ann and we were talking about if and when and how it's appropriate to tell someone that they were/are really bad in bed for whatever reason (too small, too fast, poor technique, any or all of the above, etc.). She suggested sending an anonymous letter from yousuckatsex.com but of course, it doesn't really exist. This brings me to two questions:

1. Should we purchase yousuckatsex.com and set up an anonymous letter writing service so people can know that they truly suck at sex? This night be a service we're providing, here. This might be our chance to swoop in.

2. How does one tell one, or does one tell one, ever, that they suck at sex? And if one were to ever break up with one for the sex suckassageness, and were not to tell one, what reason would one use to break up with one?