oh oh oh sam you're my main man

This is my dog Sam.You may recall this picture from a long time ago. Sam is on the left, Ben is on the right. Last year, Ben died of cancer at 7 (8?) years old.

Today, Sam died as well.

There's a huge hole in my heart for the sweet puppy I helped to raise during my last two years of college.

I don't want to go anywhere. I don't want to go to Trixie's house tonight for her party. I want to hole up in a cave and think about Sammy and how he just loved everybody.

I wish I could have seen him one more time, to say goodbye, and to tell him how much I loved him and how much my life has been enriched because he came into it.

black coffee feelin' low as the ground

Yay! I finished the first of Crazy Lady's socks last night.They needed to fit me since she and I have the same sized foot.And you can see from my red walls why my pictures look red. In any case, I did an afterthought heel for the first time ever, which came out okay, considering I didn't know what I was doing.This was one skein of Artyarns Supermerino and it's the first time I've made socks with worsted weight. I know it pooled, but I liked the pooling. I used size 6 needles, but someone I spoke with says she got no pooling with size 5s, so it's a deliberate effect. And I cast on for the second one to avoid SSS. I made up the pattern but it looks like you could do something similar with the sock pattern in Weekend Knitting.

I leave you today with this rather disturbing story about expensive coffee. I had to throw out the rest of my coffee after reading it. Fair warning.

ransom note style put the scarf around my motherfuckin face

Wish I could see the facial expressions of the people searching on Notorious B.I.G. who come here based on today's title. Well, it's better than my usual "pictures of teen casting couch porn sex" keywords. And who takes pictures of that? And teenagers? Eww. And my worst one ever, "nativity Christmas knitting sweater pattern." Because nothing says class and religious observation than a knit sweater depicting the nativity. I should put up pictures from the Nativity Pub Crawl last year (I played the camel, thank you very much).

For reasons unbeknownst to me, the one picture I took last night of Jenny trying on my sock will not transmit. I need to find my other computer and bluetooth adaptor to transfer that picture. So here's what I have for today: three completed scarves, for gifts.From top to bottom, the Be Sweet Magic Ball scarf (about six feet long), a Blue Sky Bulky scarf, and a scarf made of Pluckyfluff. The Pluckyfluff scarf has pearls randomly scattered in it.The other two scarves aren't as long as the Be Sweet scarfbut they're for little old people, so they'll be fine. So Crazy Lady and Rambo sent me this sock yarn and for winning Phyl's contest I got this Alchemy Bamboo.What to make? Bamboozelle? A lacy scarf? A kerchief/do-rag for my head? Something else? Please! Help me decide! (Incidentally, Bamboozelle was one of three things I liked in the current issue of Knitty. I just don't get some of the other things.)

I also finished the fingerless mitts from Weekend Knitting:and my hands were really black afterwardsSo I took everyone's advice from last night and a couple of days ago and soaked them in water with vinegar, three times, and no color came out, and then I soaked it in some Eucalan that Janice gave me and whammo! My sink was black and now the color keeps seeping out everywhere. FUCK. So NOW what? Do I send them anyway and tell my brother's girlfriend that if she should find a color/dye problem, to soak in vinegar? (She's a seamstress/fashion designer, so it's not like this would be a weird thing for her.)

don't be a douche what would jesus do he'd say give the jew girl toys

And boy, did the Jew girl get toys. Well, knitting toys, in any case.

Inky was given to Rambo, who had already gone to the million dollar yarn store and gotten me a skein of white Lamb's Pride Bulky,which yarn I have never used before, and before I could think about dyeing it, something else I have never done before, he called me to tell me he had bought it with the express purpose of my making him a skull cap a la Inky, and that while he wears Inky around the house and stuff he can't wear it to camp because my brother told him it was bright purple and Rambo is colorblind and so won't wear it. So now I am making a white hat to match Inky.

Rambo and Crazy Lady also sent sock yarns and Lantern Moon needles, in sizes I didn't have. And books. I think it's awfully sweet that they went into a yarn store not knowing anything about knitting and bought me stuff I love. I'll take pictures when I either find my cell phone or charge my camera.

The Man Who Lives in the House got me a ruby tennis bracelet. If you knew what it was he almost got me, you'd agree with me that if I believed in hell, I'm going there. I will say this for those of you who knew what it was: if he does something like that again, for fuck's sake, talk him out of it!!!!! I was able to talk him out of it with a small tale that made him happy and didn't offend him any.

Jane is selling me some Manos, so I'm going to head to the Gwinnett stitchers group (I don't know the actual name) tonight at La Madeleine and hang out. I need to get out of this house, if only for a couple of hours.

damaged goods send them back i can't work i can't achieve

Has anyone else ever experienced the effects of kniting with Blue Sky Worsted and having it dye your hands? I have black dye all over my hands, it isn't coming off with soap. It's not like I was sweating when I was knitting here. And it's dyed black where I carry the yarn in my right hand. I look like I've been reading The Wall Street Journal.

Just wondering if I'm the only one.

When I send these fingerless mitts to my brother's girlfriend, will they dye her hands black? Is there a way to prevent this?

salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo

Fiber Godmother Questionnaire

General Fiber Questions:
What are your fiber-related hobbies? (Knit, Crochet, Spinning, Needlepoint, etc.) - Knitting, some crochet, needlepoint and cross-stitch, embroidery on occasion, weaving sometimes, and quilting.

How long? - 25 years since I've been knitting. Longer for crochet and needlepoint and weaving. (For the record, I'm 31 years old.)

Which are you *most* into? - Knitting.

How would you classify yourself in this craft - beginner, intermediate, advanced? - I always tend to undervalue myself. Maybe "advanced intermediate" or "beginning advanced"?

What is your current fiber-related obsession? - Not sure I understand this question. I like yarn. I'm obsessed with yarn.

What are your favorite items to make? - Ummm, anything, really. I knit it all. I do detest intarsia, unless it's cute enough to make it worth my time. I like sweaters because they're wearable, and shawls because I'm always cold, and I am designing a slew of gloves, and socks are very portable and I travel quite a bit.

What are you making right now? - A sweater, design my own, stuck on the sewing up for five years. A mess of gloves, most of which have fifteen minutes left of work in them. I started the fingerless mitts from Weekend Knitting this afternoon and I should be done with them in an hour or so. Socks for my mother for Hannukah. A couple of pillows for my mother-in-law. The sugarplum sweater from Handknit Holidays. A baby sweater in bright red cotton. Linen potpourri sachets. A purse out of Noro Daria. At least two other pairs of socks. Is that enough?

What other crafts or Do-It-Yourself things do you like to do? - The Man Who Lives in the House and I restored two pinball machines a couple of years ago. I'm thinking of getting another of building a mame machine for 1980s videogames. I like to cook and especially bake, and nce was accepted into culinary school in the pastry program, but I decided to finish graduate school instead.

About the fiber:
Your favorite yarn(s) (brand or type)? - Yarn is good. I like yarn.

What fibers do you absolutely *not* like? - Red Heart, Caron, Bernat, and muppet yarns. Scratchy acrylic makes my hands hurt. Guess that makes me a yarn snob.

Is there a yarn you've been dying to try? - Hemp?

Are you a fiber snob? - See above.

About the tools:
Hardwood, Bamboo, Aluminum, Plastic? - I've become addicted to rosewood lately. I like bamboo, but not Addi Natura which is cheap feeling. I like Inox circular needles for their points.

For knitters: Straight, DPN or Circular needles? - Depends on the project. I tend to knit with circulars, but nice wooden needles for smaller projects can't be beat. Only DPNs for socks.

Favorite gadget? - My swift. I miss it greatly when I am in DC. My ball winder, which is missing the nut to make the clamp work.

Anything you've been wanting to try? - I want to try anything. However, I am too lazy to be bothered to hunt things down. Janice said she'd teach me to spin someday. I'm into that.

About you:
Do you pamper yourself? Or do you generally come last? - I am shallow and materialistic. I come first. Except with my knitting, which I usually give away.

What does an ideal day off/free hour consist of for you? - Day off? What's that? I'm a workaholic. Usually I'll go to the movies or watch old movies, while knitting. I'm so boring.

Are you allergic to anything? - Dust and box elder trees. Seriously.

What is your family situation? (Partner, spouse, kids, etc.) - Almost at my five year wedding anniversary with The Man Who Lives in the House.

Are you owned by any pets? - An eight year old cat named Jack. We call him Beans. He steals canned food when our backs are turned.

Your favorite color(s)? - Jewel tones, like purple, green, orange, lime. red.

Any colors you just can't stand? - Pastels, navy blue.

What's your favorite scent? (for candles, bath products etc.) - Lavendar, vanilla, basil.

Least favorite? (Maybe you're not "allergic," but it makes you want to die) - Rose. Yuck.

How do you feel about candy? - I feel very fondly about candy. Especially butterscotch or anything coffee flavored.

Any dietary restrictions? - No, but I don't eat chicken, and cooked bell peppers make me sick.

Is there anything that you collect? - Tacky snowglobes.

What is your favorite holiday? - Halloween.

Do you have an online wish list (e.g. Amazon, Things I Want)? If so, share the link. If nothing else, it will give your Godmother more ideas about your likes/dislikes. - Yes, but it's outdated right now due to Hannukah, so it won't do anyone any good.

Can your computer/stereo play MP3s? - Of course, it's a Mac.

What kind of music do you like? - Old school punk, new wave, jazz, blues, Baroque classical.

Any special requests in case your Godmother wants to make a CD for you? - Nah, I listen to anything, pretty much (except Christian, for obvious reasons). I'm eclectic (and a singer).

Favorite movie(s)? - Singin' in the Rain, An American in Paris, Meet Me in St. Louis, Pandora's Box, Steamboat Bill Jr., The Sheik.

Any "fan" stuff? (e.g. Firefly, Wonder Woman, etc.) - Only for vampy silent movie stars (Louise Brooks, Clara Bow, Theda Bara, Claudette Colbert) and swashbuckling ones (Douglas Fairbanks, Rudolph Valentino).

you have to believe we are magic nothin' can stand in our way

By request, I am posting a picture of the Be Sweet Magic Ball scarf.Yeah, Beans looks thrilled to be wearing it, doesn't he? Here's another one.Okay, here's a picture that I hope shows off the changing yarn-ribbon-mohair nature.I would buy this yarn again, maybe in a brighter color. I think I'd do something different on the ribbon parts, but I didn't want to do a drop stitch there. And I'm far too lazy to pull it out. This took me about two hour or so to complete, one ball of yarn, size 19 needles, 12 stitches, garter stitch all the way. It's quite lacy.

The sock is quite non-smelly now, so thanks zillions for your help.

Wow, gosh and golly, that sounded very Punky Brewster.

I wrapped and shipped all of the gifts that were finished. I think it's a miracle I made it before the shipping deadline. In the meantime, my brother sent me a huge box from Lush and a FedEx package addressed to "Beckface." It was fun to be on the phone with someone at work and have the doorbell ringing and have the FedEx guy say, "There's a delivery for a Beckface."

Beckface is what my father always called me. This reminded me that this will be my second holiday season with my father. Please, can someone tell me how to get those assholes Harry and David to stop fucking sending me the pre-filled in order catalog with what I always sent to my father every year, with his name and address already printed on the form? Because calling customer service does NOT work. Thanks for your goddamned sensitivity during the holidays to those whose loved ones died, Harry and David. Remind me to never order anything from you again.

when i want you in my arms when i want you with all your charms

Does anyone know anything about dream therapy? I have never really been obsessed with Clapotis, but I dreamt of Clapotis last night. I dreamt I knit her in some red Schaefer yarn I have in my stash. Hunh. Does this mean I have to knit that? Because Karida is WAY ahead of me in our Handknit Holidays Sugarplum sweater knitalong and I was mocked, yes, MOCKED, for being as far behind as I am *ahem still casting on*.

The Man Who Lives in the House has decided that Inky isn't right for him. Inky shall be regifted to Rambo, my stepfather who will likely either never wear it, much like the Aran sweater I knit him when I was 20 years old (was that 11 years ago?), or will wear it in the woods to look for Bambi. I have to make a Clyde, or perhaps a Sue, for The Man. Picky little fucker, isn't he? Can't be satisfied. The only thing he's ever liked that I knit him was a cozy for his wireless Apple mouse. He asked me to make it by telling me his exact specifications (he is an engineer, after all), and then said, "Oh, but that might be too difficult for you."

Yeah.

Last night my friends and I went to go to the Carnival of Death, otherwise called the Carn-EVIL, one of those amusement parks that pops up overnight in parking lots of strip malls. This one showed up in a random spot in Atlanta two days ago and we were excited to go. The chance of loss of life on the rides enhances the fun! We drove there and alas! 'Twas gone. So we ate Bangladeshi food instead. I know, you're thrilled, aren't you?

Ooh, I won Phyl's contest! And I get orange yarn!

my feets keep movin and i don't wear any socks can't stop singin' head ting-a-lingin'

Ok, I sprayed the sock-in-progress with Febreze, stuffed it in a bag with a dryer sheet and some tea bags and smothered it with baking soda cat litter and stuck it outside in the cold north Georgia mountain air. If that doesn't do the trick, I give up. Thanks for all the advice. I'll let you know the prognosis.

While I'm waiting, I'm making a "lacy" (read: garter stitch on size 19 needles) scarf from some Be Sweet magic changey yarn in an all champagne color so it's striping where the yarn changes every few rows. This'll be for The Man Who Lives in the House's grandmother who's about 90 years old. I'm not even trying to get gifts done on time. They're New Year's gifts.

The General is gone and smoked some serious crack or something before he left on vacation for two weeks because for some portion of that he put me in charge (contact person in the office, anyway). Today was his first day out of the office. How much work of my own did I get done? Take a guess. Okay, it's rhetorical. None. Nada. Zippo the Hippo. This is the time people are supposed to be gone here! Nobody's supposed to be calling me! Let alone calling me with important questions! The fun was trying to explain to someone that no, I couldn't be at her office in five minutes, because I was in Atlanta, but yes, I still have a phone number a 202 area code (the joys of Vonage.) I gave up trying.

all in all you're just another brick in the wall

I need some advice, here, from you, my fellow knitters.

So I was at a friend's band's show the other night and we were watching the hippy "granola goth" band before hers play, and whilst the belly dancers grooved she said, "Hey, you should take out your knitting, it fits the theme" and while I had intended on finishing my beer first, I thought well, why not just multitask? So I gingerly held my beer in the crook of my elbow and knit on my socks that no way in hell I'll get done in time for Crazy Lady but I'm enjoying making them (Artyarns Supermerino worsted weight from Stitch DC, pattern my own as most patterns I make are nowadays, at least adapted) and I managed to spill beer on the socks only once, during the shock of when granola goth band turned on a dime and broke into Floyd and rocked out (poorly), and then my friend asked me to knit during her set which I was planning on doing anyway and she wanted me to knit in time to her beat which I did (or in some places, double time) and during it I stole some chick's clove cigarette and later was somewhere else highly smoky and now my sock smells like cloves, Camels, Newports, and beer.

So, is there any way to make it not smell like this without having to get off my lazy ass and wash it? Do I leave it outside in the cold Georgia mountain air overnight and see what becomes of it?

go on now walk out the door just turn around now 'cause you're not welcome anymore

I love comments like Zen Wizard's from yesterday, implying that it would be boring to hang out with a bunch of knitters, particularly because he is a lawyer.

Last night, a bunch of us knitters and FOKs (friends of knitters) almost got into a rumble with a buncha lawyers. Lawyers with fauxhawks. Lawyers with fauxhawks and turned-up collars and yellow Ralph Lauren Polo crewneck sweaters who started it anyway. And the bar was on our side and gave us (Jess) carte blanche to sucker punch the lawyers. We were told that nothing we could do would get us thrown out.

Why didn't we? Out of sheer friendship for the birthday girl whose celebration it was.

But we're boring people to hang out with.

little darling i feel that ice is slowly melting little darling it seems like years since it's been clear

It's snowing today. This makes me bitchier than usual. Because it's cold in Atlanta but we don't get snow there. Anyway on Sunday at Stitch DC I bought oodles of Artyarns Supermerino in glorious colorsThere's a Lorna's Laces thrown in there. If the snow doesn't impede the event I'll be at Stitch DC Georgetown tonight. You should come.

christmas bells are ringing christmas bells are ringing on tv at saks

Tonight's diatribe steals content from three other blogs. I hope the blog owners don't mind. If they do, well, huh. I'm not really sorry, but contact me privately and we'll discuss it.

I don't think it's any secret that I'm Jewish. I'm hardly in-your-face about it. My father was an agnostic, part athiest. I was brought up celebrating the Pagan holidays of Christmas and Easter. However, I identify as Jewish, and that's what and who I am.

But you know, I really fucking hate ignorant people, and I really hate Christians who try to rub my nose in their preachy Christianity.

I read someone's knitting blog last week (can't remember who, wish I could) who was very Christian. (I think this is why I don't remember her.) She went on and on about how she didn't have a problem if someone put up a menorah so why should a Jewish person have a problem with a nativity scene in a public square? They could choose to ignore it because they didn't celebrate it.

Kristine was talking about not being in a holiday spirit because of a variety of things that had happened recently and someone posted the comment that she should feel lucky that her husband had not died.

I don't even know what that means, frankly, but I find the comment to be rather over-the-top and mean.

Then, after Rabbitch's brilliant post on putting the ass back in xmas (henceforth referred to as "xmass"), someone commented something about it being a federally declared holiday (as opposed to the other eleven federally declared holidays? As a federal government contractor, I can assure you that xmass is the only one that is a religious holiday. Or was this your point? I don't get it.) and then said the following:

"if you don't wanna celebrate it ...don't...."

Here's something I've been wanting to explain for some time, to people such as the blog owner of blog #1, who may never read this post but fuck it, maybe someone will.

Once a year, I am made to feel as though, no, I am reminded of the fact that I am a minority, that I am not a party of this society that everyone else belongs to. I sort of play along and buy very close friends gifts and I'm married to someone with a big family so that changes things but this feeling of not belonging doesn't happen on the one day of the year. It happens during all of the days leading up to That Day. This year, the festivities appeared to begin before Halloween, as least in Atlanta. So, for two months I will have been reminded that a bunch of Christians and other assorted Gentiles are part of a collective group of fun and some weird "It's a Wonderful Life" moments that I will never belong to.

When you can honestly claim that you have something similar in your life, we'll talk again.

One more comment excerpted from this one woman who commented on Rabbitch's post:

"no ones pointed out that most of the retail outlets are owned by jewish businessmen anyway"

WOW.

FUCKING WOW.

I am speechless.

but i'm near the end and i just ain't got the time and i'm wasted and i can't find my way home

I'm giving a public shoutout, yo, to my favorite queen bitch who has been there for me this week (and always) when I was engaged in IWD (IMing While Drunk). I'm highly emotional lately, it seems, and some people I work with seem to be on the wang (not naming any names, but there's only one male at work) and while I was looking for that link I found the link to this post and the fact that a) there's Lego Porn, b) Rabbitch blogged about it before I did, and c) her post is titled "Just for Rebecca" just brings tears to mine eyes anew.

So today I had to go to the National Archives in College Park (aka Archives II) to hear a lecture so I had to hike it in the bitter cold down Pennsylvania and catch the shuttle from the Archives at Pennsylvania and 7th to Archives II and listen to the lecture and then take the shuttle back, taking to Trixie on the phone all the while and annoying everyone around me, and the second I got off the phone I saw this and had to take a picture for Rabbitch.Recognition or guesses from anyone as to what this is? Hint: I thought of Jodi as well.

what you gonna do with all that junk all that junk inside your trunk

I have tons of stash to show but this is all I had at work. Blog photo #4 taken from work:A slew of Lorna's Laces Shepherd Sock from Knit Happens in manly colors. That's blackwatch, camouflage, and pin stripe.

Help.

What the fucking hell do I get The Man Who Lives in the House for Christmas?

i'm a child of the air i'm a witch of the wind and i'm still wide awake

Tonight's post title, a quote from Megadeth, in honor of Vitriola, on whose answering machine I might have left a rambling message. I wish I knew if any of you were still up and willing to talk to someone who was trashed.

I looked kick ass for the partay. Here are some pics taken by me while drunk:So at the party some guy came up and asked me to pee on him, I think. Turns out he was a president. I told him I didn't do golden showers anymore.

While writing this post I ran across this article Huh.

Gonna pass out now.

and if my thought-dreams could be seen they'd probably put my head in a guillotine

You know, I innocently meandered over to Knitty Gritty to check out this week's episode and OH MY FUCKING GOD MY EYES WHERE ARE MY EYES THEY'RE BLEEDING WHAT THE BLOODY HELL HAPPENED TO MY EYES ok maybe if I click on the other sweater they're making on the show that episode it'll be much better and OH THE HUMANITY! THE HUMANITY! well if I scroll down to the fashion show at the bottom of the page surely Needful Yarns has done something good with their knitting - oh.

First, for the halter top. Aren't we done with the fun fur halter top thing, since that one weird pattern in Knitty some many years ago? Who thought it was a good idea to resurrect this? This is not a classic.

Second. The description of the pullover reads: "a mohair pullover with randomly applied novelty-yarn tassels." Oh, yes, tassels. Me, I prefer my tassels to be applied directly to my nipples by way of my pasties, but I could see where some would want them to show through the mohair pullover. Because pasties + mohair = a winning fashion combination! Quick, someone call Miuccia Prada!

Let's scroll down to the fashion show, though. First, we have "a sweater knit of randomly textured yarn." The designer made this shapeless and made the sides lower than the waist, and then put it on a model whose figure could not pull off any of the following alone, let alone together: a) shapeless, b) higher waist than sides, or c) randomly textured yarn. Next, we have "a shell that combines two contrasting textures in the same color." *yawn* Last, a "stunning crocheted wedding dress." That has a lot to do with knitting, being that it's crocheted.

I blame not Vickie Howell, except maybe that she let the show go through. I blame Needful Yarns for sending this designer to the show. They don't have anyone better to send? (Unless Vickie invited this designer, in which case it's all her fault.)

relax don't do it when you want to suck to it

Because a little known fact about me is that I can, and sometimes do, actually crochet, I give you:

What Not to Crochet

I particularly like the link to Dina ladina (Vitriola? Is that Portugese?) and the fine knitting and crochet merchandise for sale on that blog.

look around leaves are brown there's a patch of snow on the ground

I'm feeling rather depressed tonight, and I can't find the marvelous chocolates dragon knitter sent me that I left in DC. My roommate moved all of my food. The last time I came here, she had given all of my food to the homeless. Why didn't she give her food to the homeless? Because she's a rather insane health nut who only makes protein shakes with amino acid additives and organic honey stuff, whereas I eat normal food, like Coke and yogurt and spaghetti and chocolate.

Mmmmm, chocolate.

So, some people say I should make her buy me new food, because she gave all of my food away. But wouldn't that be rather churlish? I mean, it was a food drive for the homeless. We have a serious homeless problem in DC. Sure, it would have been nice to have been asked, but I probably would have given the food to the food drive guy myself anyway. I have enough money and I have shelter and clothing and it's not like I don't have a ghetto grocery store across the street from me, literally, where I can buy a new box of pasta and other assorted food items for mere dollars, whereas the homeless can't do that. I can bathe every day. 'Nuff said. I refuse to ask her for money or food to replace my food.

I had no idea where this post was going when I began it, but it somehow works with the "Hazy Shade of Winter" lyrics in the title.

Speaking of bathing every day, the guy who empties the garbage at work does not. Luckily, I am not in DC all the time. But by gosh and by golly, it would be nice if he bathed, say, once a year. There's another guy who empties garbage at work who smells overwhelmingly of baby powder.

And in boring clothing news, I went to Hecht's tonight and got a tuxedo suit to go with my (don't click on this link around other people if you might get into trouble) bustier . The suit ended up being on sale for less than the bustier, which, when I bought it, was less than the price now.

And still, more than the price of the food my roommate gave to the homeless.

we interrupt this blog for an urgent message for atlanta / north georgia area readers

I got a message from a friend of a dear, dear friend who is a purebred cat breeder stating the following:

"I got an urgent message tonight about a Siamese kitten in Newnan, GA at the Coweta Shelter. This baby is going to be gassed on Friday and I am having a difficult time finding some one to pull him from the shelter.

If you or anyone can help this baby, please let me know ASAP! Perhaps if someone can pull him, he can go to Atlanta Persian and Siamese rescue, but we have to get him out of the shelter first!"

The Siamese is C-10 , the fifth photo down ( I.D. #
05120219). He's at Coweta A.C.( telephone number 770-254-3735) in
Georgia. Link is http://www.shelterrescue.org/id4.html.

So, if you have been wanting a kitten, or know of anyone who has been, or can pull the kitten for Atlanta Persian and Siamese Rescue, please contact me and I'll put you in touch with the breeder. I'd do it myself, but I'm in DC right now.

Thanks.

a-tisket a-tasket a green and yellow basket

On the way to lunch in the cafeteria today, I stopped by the vendor at work and had to look at the baskets he was selling from Nigeria. No scams involved. On the way back from lunch, I bartered the price of this huge basketdown to $40 and now I have a place to store my DC apartment yarn stash.

This is the third blog picture I have posted that I took at work. Depressing, isn't my office?

But I ripped a contact lens at work today and the basket is heavy and no, it didn't come with a flute nor a cobra and I couldn't see so I left work early (well, earlyish, well, early for the crazy workaholic that I am) and I wasn't going to lug that basket home in the freezing cold so it's still at work. For the rats to find. Yes, we have rats. In the depressing office.

On the clothes for the holiday party front, I ordered another corset from the company and they're overnighting it to me in DC and I need to buy a dressy sexy black suit to wear open-jacketed with it and I'm set. Easier said than done.

if it's her you want i don't care about that you can have my girl but don't touch my hat

First, on the long list of absurdities from today, I wore a pair of designer slacks, which have a zipper in the back, which zipper I have had replaced three times, most recently last week, and I just picked them up from the cleaners today. So I get on the airplane and I fly to DC and I get off the airplane and I go to the restroom and I can't pull down the zipper because the mother fucker is broken god fucking dammit what the fuck am I going to do now I really need to go and now I know why the TSA guys in Atlanta were ogling me because I had to take my very long velvet jacket that covers up my ass off to go through screening and they must have seen my bright pink Oscar the Grouch panties (and does anyone else hate the word "panties?") that say "I Love Trash" on the ass with pictures of garbage all over the back.

At least I was wearing underwear today, which, honestly, is a rarity for me, I usually go commando.

So I somehow ripped my zipper apart and managed and figured I could ask permission from my boss to wear jeans on this emergency occasion and trust that he would not ask for more details because I could just say, "I wouldn't ask unless it were absolutely necessary."

Fuck. He probably thought I got my period. Great.

So I get into work and he's in a meeting for two hours so I waited and my coworkers walk by me and ask what the pink thing is they can see in the hole where the back of the chair doesn't meet the bottom of the chair and why do I have to sit in the one place where everyone can see me in the office? So they all saw my Oscar the Grouch panties too but luckily they're all chicks.

And now I'm wearing jeans but they're lowriders and my asscrack is showing anyway so really, what did I gain from this?

In the meantime, on the plane, the old guy in front of me decided to whip out his cell phone and turn it on somewhere over Greensboro and make a phone call. The flight attendant came over but he insisted this was an "emergency." The next words are to the person on the other end of the phone.

"Yes, hello? Do you sell hats? Yes? I'd like to order a hat, size 7 3/8." (taps the shoulder of the guy sitting in front of him) "They're all out of 7 3/8." (back to the phone) "Do you have 7 1/2?" (guy in front of him) "No 7 1/2." (phone) "How about 7 1/4?" (guy in front of him turns around) "My head is too big for 7 1/4, how about 7 5/8?"

somebody save me let your warm hands break right through me

Yeah, I know it's the theme song to "Smallville." You got a problem with the fact that I watch "Smallville"? Lex is totally hot.

Friday night I finished the fingerless mitts from Alterknitsright before I got a manicure so please excuse my nasty looking nails, here they are not on my handsso I used ribbon from Judi and Co. which I think looks great but it's very thin so I used four lengths of it in each mitt, and it won't stay tied in a bow so finally today I double knotted it and let the ends trail and I'm happy with them. However, despite the pattern, I ended it with about one yard of Manos left. I love Manos, but boy was that pattern way the fuck off.

Now, for a comment/diatribe against Dunwoody Yarn.

For the past two Saturdays in a row, I have gone to Dunwoody Yarn, during the hours it was supposedly open, and it was closed. Is this a way to run a business? What the fuck?

I only went to buy specific yarn. I went because it was convenient. I went today with Trixie because the yarn I wanted to buy was on sale. I bought what I went to buy only and left.

But not before hitting the back of some guy in a BMW and now I have to pay to repaint the guy's back bumper for like $500 which just sucks ass but exemplifies my day which began with a trip to the doctor where I found out I have a sinus infection and I was put on a THIRD antibiotic and I feel like shit and I pulled a muscle in my shoulder but then Trixie and I went to Michael's where we bought buttons for the baby sweater I started and almost finished this weekend out of Lion Brand Microspun in bright red and handles for the purse I started making out of Noro Daria, has anyone ever knit with that stuff? It's so fucking weird and wiry. I had three skeins of it in my stash for two years so I thought a purse for...someone for Christmas would be not out of line.

Total avoidance of the second sock.

I leave for DC in the morning for two weeks. I haven't packed. My house is a mess. The cleaning people come tomorrow. I can't find my corset, which I was planning on wearing to my company's holiday party this weekend. It's snowing in DC and the cleaners don't have my winter jacket fixed yet. I worked for a total of three hours today.

Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch.

oh can you see the state i'm in kiss it better kiss it better kiss that frog

The holes on my sock only showed up on one side, and not on the purl side. The purl side looks perfect and beautiful. But thanks for the thoughts. I'll just have to make the second sock and see what I did when I get to the heel and hope I don't do it again.

Once upon a time, about three years ago, I went a little crazy and I bought twelve balls of self striping sock yarn and decided to make myself a sweater in stockinette stitch on size 2 needles.I got about 8 inches done and realized the folly of my ways and put it away thinking someday, I might pick it up again.

Hah.

I found out yesterday a friend from high school is expecting a first baby any day now and I found this pattern available for free from Knit Picks so I downloaded it and printed it and frogged the adult sweater to make a baby sweater.

And I got through the ribbing of the first sleeve (aka the gauge swatch) when my hands started hurting me from knitting with size 1 bamboo needles.

Why was I knitting with bamboo straight needles? Because when I went to my stash o' Addis, my bag for size 1s was empty. Please, tell me when I've used size 1 needles in the past. Because I haven't a fucking clue. You know why? BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER USED THEM. My size 1 Addis decided to have a party and morph into twenty sets of size 6 circulars overnight, but the next time I need size 6 needles, all I will have are size 3 needles and two sets of size 1 needles. It's a needle conspiracy, I'm telling you. Tell me this doesn't happen with your needles. I won't believe you.

So, I picked up this again, remember this?and restarted the fingerless mitts and am almost done with the first one, knit in a smaller size, dead on gauge, but for some reason I am almost out of yarn with the exact amount of yarn I used to knit the bigger size, dead on gauge, a few weeks ago.

Maybe my yarn went to party with my size 1 needles.

ooh ahh sock it to me like you want to oh

Well, here's a picture of the Holey Sock last night at about 8 PM:and here's a blurry but detailed closeup of the holes in the heelbut I finished the sock last night and I did some sort of mojo to sew up the holes only now there's a ridge in the sock, fuck me, these were for a gift, what do I do now? I shall start on another project whilst I humbly await your advice.